depreciation they claim

I can feel the warm coming

I never know how to feel on nights I'm alone. Eating cereal with my dog and listening to Pet Symmetry has just become a rut. I like it. She likes my music, I hope.

I always feel silly talking to myself even if no one is around.
Hence I'm always in my head.
I hardly like to talk to people when I'm around them, too. But they love chatting me up. Bastards.

My friend Dan told me something yesterday. He was telling me about when it's February. You get out of class and you're walking to your car and its fucking cold as a witches tit and you're pissed. You're pissed because it's cold and it's February and it's dark out but only 4 pm and your car took three times to turn on and even with heat on full blast its fucking cold. You just wanna go home and be half naked watching Netflix and doing fucking nothing because it's so cold and dreary and you feel like shit. You wish it were June. Fuck, if it were June you'd be waking up at 4 pm getting ready to go burn some shit at a bonfire or get buzzed with you're friends or go downtown and dick around by the harbor. It's not cold as a witches tit, your car starts, you're not pissed, it's warm most of all. Too fucking warm. You wanna stay home half naked and watch Netflix because it's too fucking warm. Then you wish it was February and it was snowing and you think, you wanted something so bad until you got it, then you wonder if you wanted it in the first place. What the fuck do you want? Make up your mind.

It fucked with me.

What do I want, do I really want it?

Probably not.

But-

Yes I do I want that in this instance right now, maybe I'll regret it but sitting on the fence post isn't getting me anywhere.

Jump.

So you do it. Just to realize Dan, you're right, I wish I was just half naked watching Netflix. I don't give a shit what month it is, leaving the house always makes me feel like this when I get home.