depreciation they claim

A dream

I slept through the night. My mind wandered to places of fantasy full of desire and lust and twisted swiftly into scenes of refracted reality.

A ring at the door, late evenings rarely booked with appointments with anyone but self deprecation.

It was my love. From thousands of miles to in front of me.
Real.
Fake.

I could not distinguish between reality and mirror of, but my excitement, joy and happiness took control. This was real. For me. For now.

I had always expected a romantic gesture the size of our distance between us in my dreams, which I suppose is appropriate since this was merely mirage, but it was indescribable. I can't begin to put the feeling into words, as good as I with manipulating them.

We talked, and touched and just, were.

I had to go, for now. He stayed. It was almost harder leaving this time than not seeing him before we had met, though I knew I'd see him later that day.

I drove to work. But something wasn't right in the way. I felt drawn to the most beautiful lake.

On the shore, the most beautiful woman I'd seen in my life, he hair wet as if she'd been swimming for hours. Her legs, a fin.

I began to question.

How could this be real? Just as before.
Again the feeling of lust and beauty and joy and excitement filled my body.
This was real. For me. For now.

She was having a problem removing her braids from her hair, and asked for my assistance. I began to help, slowly and cautiously I approached the marine maiden. I felt guilty for her absence from the water so I suggested we move to the break. She didn't want to seem an inconvenience so it took convincing but eventually she returned to the water and seemed much relieved.

I began removing her braids, her hair was full of sand and plants but was still so beautiful. She sang to me as I did so. She began moving further into the water, still singing as I brushed through her tangled hair.

"If you keep moving away, I won't be able to reach you"

I was not frustrated, but so intrigued in her auburn locks I almost didn't noticed her pulling away, and me with her.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to make it harder for you"

I stopped feeling the pulling.

When I had finished the last braid, I looked up for the first time in a long while. We were far from the shore. The water was clear as day. The shells and coral and life were vibrant shades of orange to match the maidens tail.
It seemed almost as if they were made of clay or dough. It all looked so soft. The nautical nymph had my legs twisted together. I was tied, and being dragged under. Her beauty still drew me, her song was like a lullaby. I began to drift off. 

I didn't see the peach and citrus colored scenery any longer. I saw nothing. Not even the deep sea same in which I began my dive with. I was holding my breath, it felt. I opened my eyes.

We are exactly where I had thought, under the water.

My oxygen supply dwindling I had to ignore the seafaring siren to make it surface. Luckily the distance was short so a lunge upwards benefited me and allowed me to gasp blindly, mouth only in the atmosphere.

She dragged me down again. Deeper. I repeated the process to fight for air.

Up and down and up, blindly taking my air from above. Until my gasps were filled with bugs. No air, just bugs.

She never looked back at me.

The bugs filled my lungs, then my stomach and mouth. My only choice was to vomit them up. I began to try and spit the bugs out, each one seemed to want to stay because another was. I tried so hard, I was tired. I was losing air. It was dark. The siren was gone. I was alone and unbound.

I floated to the surface.

I awoke in a pool, but not infested with sirens or bugs or clay creatures. Just of sweat and panic.

I was relieved. Then immediately heart broken.

I left my lovely fantasy of romance in my mind. It was covered up by scenes of fear and pain and deception.

My first fantasy just as real as my second.

Neither was to happen anytime soon.