Why does it always seem to be dark in the winter. Every hour of the day is dark. I wake up and it's dark. Eat lunch when it's dark. Go to bed and it's dark.
Maybe black out curtains were a bad choice.
Sometimes it's so dark I forget to blink. It makes my eyes burn but it reminds me I'm awake. I'm awake and not dead or dreaming or anything, just sinking into my bed sheets.
I feel at fault for not keeping a clock in here.
It's weird, I've never mentally torn apart my room, as often as I reside here. I never pick it apart and notice all the aspects I overlook. I'm not even doing it now while thinking about it, and probably never will.
One of my favorite parts of the day is waking up and for a few seconds you forget where you are. And then you realize you're alone in your room and, depending on your intake of self loathing from the previous evening, may continue having a favorite moment or may roll your eyes and in attempt to escape may try and fall back asleep.
I wrestle both options regularly. Sometimes in the same day, or moment. I told you, I feel like two people. Maybe it's why I'm half asleep right now. Maybe it's why I'm half asleep always.
And the weird thing is, I never chose to wake myself up, because I never know which half is asleep. It's like a puzzle, and I'm really fucking good at puzzles.
But I hate this one, the hints are always wrong and when I think I'm right I'm wrong, but then guessing the other option is wrong too. The only way I know to beat it is put both halves to sleep. Maybe black out curtains were a good choice. I could never sleep with the light in here.
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depreciation they claim
Non-Fictiona collection of thoughts, assessments, dreams, observations, lusts, loves, unthinkables, oddities, morbidity, and dark yet comforting humor and perspective.
