Tamar Braxton's Daughter *Not Edited*

Chapter 26

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No hating on the characters.

Not my best chapter but don't worry next chapter will be better x 

Not edited.
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They have been filming Tamar and Vince since Tamar started DWTS. It's kind of different and scaAry since I'm used to being private but now everybody wants to know what I'm doing.

I'm on my way to my self defense class but I spot Tamar lying on the sofa. I drop my bag and rush over to her.

"Oh gah, I feel like hell. I'm so sick but it's like a different kind of sick." She starts coughing uncontrollably and all I can do is pat her back. "I'm trying to take a short nap before going to rehearsals."

"You sound bad, I don't think you should." I move closer to her and lay my head against hers.

Logan suddenly runs into the room followed by Evelyn.

I block his way to Tamar and instead pick him up. "Hi Logie hiii." I plant kisses on his face.

"No kisses Tiaaa, no." I laugh and keep on kissing his face.

"Yes kisses." I say in my baby voice.

"Maybe Monday." I let out an ugly ass laugh before putting him down letting him run off.

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Looking back at everything, it's just been a blur. Who would've thought that I'd make it to October 2015.

I am alive...

I'm doing better but most of all I'm still alive, I never thought that I would be alive.
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After a minute of me standing and talking to myself, I decided not to attend the self defense class. It's the least that I can do for my mum, she's been there for me throughout the most craziest shit.

I watch as Tamar takes a nap but I also try hard to avoid the cameramen filming.

"Tiana?" I look up at one of the producers who is standing really close to me. "We were wondering if you wanted to do a confessional since you're not doing anything right now."

I purse my lips, "I'm watching my mum but... I'll do it." I kiss Tamar's forehead before getting up and letting myself get led away to hair and makeup.

It takes about an hour and a half for me to get ready but I look cute at the end so whatever.

The screen starts showing me some of the new footage that they have filmed and all I do is either talk about it or just comment on it.

The first footage that they show is when I appeared on The Real. I take a shaky breath before watching over them filming me.

"Oh wow. " I cringe as I watch myself walk into the dressing room in baggy tracksuits, a mess of a messy bun and slippers. "I look a hot mess." I twich my nose before giving a sly smirk, ".com"

I continue watching as it shows the stylists freaking mout cause they think I was dead. It also shows me waking up and being sassy before settling into hair and makeup. 

"I genuinely don't really remember this, it just seems as if it was... I dunno, I just don't remember much of that."

I watch myself walking out onto The Real stage. "Oh my! Why did they play sad music? That music had me already bawling like I were at a funeral." 

I continue to watch and just suddenly my mood begins to drop. "Loni's so sweet. I was all over the place but she was so sweet with her words and it was comforting to hear."

I cover my face as I hear myself talking about my father, damn, my tears are falling like crazy. I honestly think that I've cried enough and I hate the fact that I look so weak to other because I know I am strong but I always appear weak to others. 

I even have instagram haters commenting on my posts and calling me rude names that my father used to call me. 

"Tiana... how are you feeling about this?" I hear someone ask. 

I scrunch my hands up into fists but carefully making sure to cover my eyes. All I know is that I don't look like my mama's album cover, her tears were gorgeous but mine aren't. I've been told that I resemble a rat when I cry. 

I let out a tiny screech at the thought of all this. Why am I still crying?

I take a few deep breaths before wiping away at my tears, the mua quixkly comes and fixes my makeup. "Well obviously I'm crying so all of t-this still affects me. Man I hate h--." I stop myself as I watch myself saying that I don't hate my father.

"I don't hate him but I feel sorry for him. "  

I just stare at myself through the screen wondering if I actually meant or if I was lying. It's  unexaplinable, I honestly have several feelings towards my father but I don't feel hatred towards him and I should. He made my life hell and look at me now, the girl who once had a sparkle in her eyes has now lost that.

I don't know who I am and I have no aspirations except dancing but even then I have no plans for it. I'm just living for Tamar, I don't want to be without her cause I've been without for almost 10 years. 

"I don't want to talk about it." I whisper as I shake my head. 

One of the producers sadly smile at me before replacing it with a bright smile as she changes the episode to when I was flirting with Val. 

"Really N*--" All I heard was a loud beep followed by a few laughters. I try to fight my smile which is really hard.

"I can dance and I can also twerk." I watch myself twerking. I smirk at the fact that I smirked when I saw that Val's eyes was trained on my butt.

I burst out laughing when he starts twerking but I let that die down as soon as I see myself kissing him.

"Ya'll need to stop wathcing me like that. Don't even put that in the episode." I feel my cheeks hotting up. "This ain't no Tamar and Vince AND TIANA!" I roll my eyes and purse my lips. 

I continue watching several other footages of myself along with ones of Tamar feeling poorly which distrubs me cause I don't wanna lose my momma. 

I stop commenting once I recieve a text from my mum stating that she's gone to rehearsel. I close my eyes for a brief second before gathering my stuff and leaving.