Baby's Breath

Chapter 1: Invitation

I’ve always thought there was nothing wrong with sex as long as it was shared with someone you loved, though Dad would certainly disagree. Autumn wasn’t afraid to live it. I smirked at her as she hunched over her cell, fingers a delicate ballet over the tiny keys. She was pretty lucky to have parents who didn’t care.

I thought of Josh with a hungry sigh. It had been since September that I’d seen him, and he was home for the next week! My heart thudded with anticipation for the plans we had. Though we hadn’t tried doing anything yet, I was still nervous about my first time. I’ve heard so many horror stories.

“It hurts like hell the first time,” Autumn said once. “And all that blood!” Blood? Who knew there was blood involved. I had nightmares, but then Autumn would say, “The way it’s in the movies is exactly how it is.”

Really? I didn’t want to ask too many questions because I didn’t want to look like a desperate idiot or anything. Then she would totally grill me why the sudden interest and insist who I was thinking of losing my virginity to.

Yes, she knew I was a virgin. Wouldn’t you know if you were BFFs since kinder?

I had no way out, so I had to keep it all locked in.

“See ya tonight, girlfriend.” Autumn winked her fake lashes at me with a swift minty hug right after the bus dropped us off. She always smelled like mint. Autumn and her gum.

“Tonight?” I played dumb.

She paused, blinked, and pulled her bright yellow sunglasses low. “Hello? The party?”

“Ah.” I sucked in my lips. “Yeah, that one.”

“It’s been, like, all over the school!” She wagged the hot pink invite under my nose.

“That’s right!” I snapped my fingers and bonked the side of my head. “Silly me, what am I thinking?” But I had my reasons.

“Jeez, girl.” She gave me a gentle shove. “Gotta go. I need every second to get ready and . . .” Her lilting voice faded as she walked the opposite way. I had this theory that if my BFF kept chatting and chatting, she would never notice if anyone sneaked off. She’d have her voice to keep her company.

“I’m home!” I shouted, slinging my one-ton book bag onto the floor with my shoes. I darted up the stairs and locked my door tight. What should I wear tonight? I knew Josh would be there. I rummaged through my closet, holding everything imaginable up. Should I wear something that didn’t take too long to take off? Something that would take too long so as to tease Josh? Something see-through to build him up? Something baggy to make him beg?

A burst of giggles ticked my stomach and I found the perfect outfit. A form-fitting white boat neck top with my favorite soft jeans that had keyholes up to my hips. I laid it out on my bed along with strappy sandals. Should I even wear a bra?

My heart twisted with a shooting thrill and I squealed. Mom. I had to hunt her down and ask if I could go to the party. Autumn would be with me of course and we’d be home by eleven.

I needed to hurry before Dad got home. I snatched a soda pop from the bar and loved the sound of its fresh hiss. Oh no. I slowed, hating Mom’s face. It twisted with despair. Her knuckles shook white as she clamped the newspaper. Bright tears streaked her rosy cheeks. My heart responded and I moved forward. As much as I hated, I’d have to ask about the party later.

“Mom?” I slid onto the stool, resting my face on her soft shoulder. I loved it when she wore angora, it made her feel angelic.

She shook her head, her throat working over a sob. With one toss, the paper glided between my elbows, and the sob she’d been holding back filled the kitchen. I dropped my gaze to the headlines.