Baby's Breath

Chapter 27: words shut

I had to admit that seeing Dr. Roberts enlightened me, especially with some of the advice he had given me. He told me to embrace life, embrace the fact that I had the opportunity to enjoy what life Wesley gifted me with. To let my talents shine by helping others. By doing that, I would forget how dark I felt inside. I mulled for several days how I might apply that to my situation.

When I felt I was at the brink of working out a plan, Audra happened. She was the stinging alcohol to my tender wound. Regret kicked my butt and I wondered why I had her in my class. "Did you ever talk to what's-her-face from Wee Born Haven?" I gave Audra a wild look, my eyes screaming for her to shut up. Someone would hear! "What? No one here gives a crap, Jess. But you sure do look awful."

My hair was shiny and combed. I admit that I looked like a slob, but I couldn't exactly slip into a cute empire waistline top and maternity pants, now, could I?

Why did I do that to myself? Why did I forgive those who hurt me, with the fool hope that they'd talk to me again? I did that with Josh at the store. I did that with Audra in class, though I resented her. I supposed that's what desperation did to a person. I was so stupid!

Class couldn't end any sooner and I ran to my favorite restroom, ignoring her harsh cynicism. I wondered if Josh had told her anything? Or if he kept this all to himself? My stomach knotted, and I hurried outside when I knew Audra would be gone. Rather, I saw Jules waiting for me in front of the school in his car, a strained look on his face.

"Hi," I said in my raspy voice. I hugged my book bag to my chest and dropped my head back with a sigh. "Sorry I'm late." The seat massaged my aching back and I groaned. "Boy, was is the weirdest day ever."

"Jess? What's going on?" He looked at me, but I was too frazzled to meet his eyes.

"Audra and I got into it just now and I wanted to avoid her, you?" I scrunched my nose as I adjusted the vents to hit my face. The bucket seat felt good and I sighed. When he didn't pull out into traffic but just stayed in park, I looked at him. "What?" He sat there, staring at me. "What's going on?" The air seemed to get thick, but I faked a smile anyway. I'd been very careful with everything. He wouldn't know.

"Is there something you need to tell me? I mean, I know it's not my business, but I thought we were close." When I stayed quiet, fumbling for something to say because I had no clue as to what he was referring to. Then, he said, "I found this in your car." The expression on his face made my heart stop as he held up my positive pregnancy test. My first reaction was to gasp, and snatch it from him, rather, I felt my eyes widen ever so slightly, but I forced myself to remain relaxed. "Does Mom or Dad know?" We stared at each other for three seconds before I recovered.

My breath punched from my lungs, and my heart remembered to beat, the sound pounding loudly in my ears. "That isn't mine, I'm holding it for Audra," I said slowly, my brain racing for something throw him off the scent. "You know how she's like, she was scared that her parents might find out, so she asked me to trash them, but I forgot all about it."

"Audra is pregnant?" A little crinkle lifted one corner of his mouth and he turned to the front, kicking the car into drive. "Why am I not surprised."

"Why were you digging around in my purse?" I snatched the offending thing and became defensive, relieved that he believed me and didn't push the issue.

"I wasn't—it was on the backseat. I guess it had slipped, because it looked like your purse had thrown up. Man, I can't believe Audra is pregnant." He tapped the steering wheel, the sunlight reflecting through his iris.

"Well." I had to not let him believe she still was because she wasn't going to have a baby. "She told me she miscarried." I hated lying to him. Like he said, we were close. I stared out my window and chastised myself for being stupid enough to have forgotten, for being stupid enough to get caught. I bit my lip with my next thought—for lying to my best bud.