Baby's Breath

Chapter 22: spent

Everything felt like a dream. So unreal. I sat on the couch waiting for Josh to arrive for our date as my brothers watched their show, my hands wedged between my knees.

"Looking nice." Mom kicked the recliner up and propped a book on her knees. "Don't forget to have fun, okay?" she said with a wink.

"I'll try." Wrong choice of words! I examined my nails and cringed. It'd been so long since I painted them.

"He's here!" Rob shouted, running to the kitchen for the popcorn he just made.

A sudden bout of dizziness hit me and I had trouble getting it under control How was I going to tell him? When was I going to tell him? I had suggested a picnic and a little walk through the duck pond, something quiet.

"How do I look?" I stood and shook out my wide-legged pants with little pleats. It looked good with the baby doll top and tank.

"You should wear makeup more often," Jules said, his eyes glued to the screen.

"You look gorgeous." Mom smiled at me, her book closed. "Remember, have fun."

"I will. Love you, Mom." The march to the door was grueling. It felt as if I was about to be pushed off the pirate ship from the plank. I opened the door and a blast of warm summer air hit me in the face. He stood there, a head taller than me with his dark hair swept to the side, a wide grin on his lips. How devastatingly handsome he was!

His cheeks were flushed, eyes sparkling as he checked me out. "Whoa." Though he was on my hit list, his approval went far. It had been long . . . "You look nice."

I smiled, unable to say a thing. I closed the door and we walked to his car. My mind tumbled about with everything I wanted to tell him. One thing stuck out and it was regret for getting pregnant. How I wished we could start all over. I still loved him. He couldn't keep his eyes off me as we slid into the car.

"Where to?"

"Uh, are you still okay with a picnic at the duck pond?" I barely looked at him, but smiled; I didn't want to lose my nerve by looking into his eyes. I had to shove my hands under my legs so as to keep them from trembling. I was so nervous!

"Sure, sure."

If only the silence was amiable. No. It felt thick, uncomfortable, as if he knew what I was about to tell him. "Uh, how's Audra?"

"She's Audra." His eyes squinted a bit at the road, and his hands gripped the wheel. He showed all the signs of missing me, yet, he knew something was up.

I gave a nervous laugh. "That bad?"

He shook his head, his laughter short. "She doesn't know I'm with you and she's ticked at you for some reason."

I tried to capture his attention by clearing my throat, waving my hair aside, or swinging my leg.

"No, she won't tell me."

My attempts at capturing his attention succeeded. I stopped my effort and exhaled. We passed the center of town where all the restaurants were, and kept going. It wasn't until he pulled into the duck pond park and turned the car off that I asked, "What're you doing? I thought we're having a picnic?"

"Jess, why now? Why do you want to go out with me after I asked you out, what a month ago or so?"

"Well, we did, remember when we were going to dance—the kidnapping?"

He scoffed, and dropped his head against the headrest. "Yeah, and how did that night end?"

I pressed my lips together and released a soft sigh. "Okay, fine, so why not go out now? I mean, there's more to us than just one or two dates—unless you forgot already." My cynicism lingered in the air between us and I closed my eyes at my rudeness and I held my tongue. Oops. Not yet. You're not supposed to bite his head off just yet. Oh, how was I going to do this! How?