Baby's Breath

Chapter 20: unforgiveable

I wasn't expecting him to be standing there so I yelped, my fragile state at a breaking point. "Get away from me, I hate you!" Was he listening to my conversation with Audra?

I pushed past him, hearing Audra open her door and ask what he was doing there. He called out my name instead of replying his sister, but I ran faster. Vertigo got the best of me, so rather than running all the way home, I made it to the porch swing in their backyard.

The moon was lower in the sky behind the house, casting a ghostly glow around. I stared at the lonely stars and wished that I could join them. I hated my life. I curled my legs to my chest and hugged them, resting my chin on top.

"Jess?" Josh closed the back door and I recoiled. "May I join you?"

"I don't care what you do anymore." I jerked my face away as he sat next to me. Conflicting emotions of hope and abandonment were at odds, and I ached from it all.

"I brought you this icepack and towel. Looks like you're bleeding again."

"Whatever." But I snatched them from his paws. I wasn't about to go to the hospital with Dad and have him find out my secret. The cool ice through the towel made my wound sigh with relief. "What do you want?"

"Look, I'm sorry about, well, you know. What Audra said earlier in the car. You know, before Rick pulled off to the side?" His voice sounded sheepish.

I closed my eyes and steadied my heart. I had forgotten all about that. "I don't care what you do with your personal life, Josh." I faced him head on, convincing myself how much I loathed every feature on his face. "It's none of my business." I rose, and gave him a wide margin so that I wouldn't have to touch him as I passed.

He grabbed my wrist—the good one—and held me still. I whipped out of his grip with a sharp hiss. "Don't you ever touch me again."

"Jess, please, let me explain." He was on his feet before I knew it, blocking my path. His hated hands held my shoulders and I folded my arms and glowered at his chest. "Look at me, please." My stupid lip quivered and I held it still with my teeth. "I was drunk, I don't remember a thing. I promise."

Disgust tensed my body and I tore from his hold. "Oh, is that supposed to make it better, Josh? You did it with a girl you don't even remember? What if you got her pregnant? What then?"

"Pregnant? We just had sex."

I laughed a bitter sound. "Oh, and where do babies come from, pray tell? I'm done." I marched passed him, bumping him aside with my shoulder. And it wasn't a soft bump, but a deliberate shove.

"Wait, Jess! What is this really about? Why are you so mad at me anyway? I came out here to apologize to you. This girl didn't mean a thing."

"Oh, really?" I threw my dirtiest scowl at him, hoping to shrink him down to size.

"Yeah, really." A little light glowed in his eyes and he looked hopeful.

"Just like me, right? We're nothing but a one night stand to you, right? And then you'll throw us away, right? Tell me one thing, Joshua, was she underage too?" His dark eyes widened, his mouth parted, but he didn't say anything. "That's what I thought. Goodbye, Josh."

The only way to the frontwas through the house. I ripped open the door and standing there with her armsfolded, face burning red with anger, was Audra.