Baby's Breath

Chapter 3: anticipation

I stood in front of Audra's Victorian style swivel mirror, holding the little black swimsuit to my chest. My heart throbbed faster at the thought of Josh seeing me in it. My first time with him was going to be even better. A pang of shame made me flinch, but I shoved it deep. Mom and Dad would never know. Besides, Audra had been having sex long before I found out. It sure sounded foolproof.

"What's that look for, silly?" Audra asked as she watched me through the mirror, her red lipstick mid-stroke.

"How it's going to be. Crazy, isn't it?" Nerves made me fling the thing to her bed with a squeak. If I was planning on backing out, now was the time.

"You're going to be the hottest chick there." She winked and pressed her lips on the mirror's corner.

I considered her for a second, my nail tapping my chin. "What about you?" My hopes rose as to what she planned, but I had to know for sure. You know what they say about assuming—it turns everyone into the town fool.

"Well." She wiggled out of her shorts and slid into her mini. "The first hottest chick won't be there." She bumped me away to observe her sleek figure. "Moi."

I flicked my eyes to the ceiling and huffed to cover my joy at having her absent. My plans would only work out if she was gone. After flinging my clothes to the floor, I asked, "You're leaving me alone? Where are you going?" I pouted, faking my hurt.

"Ha!" She spun this way and that, admiring her curves with a wiggle. "Do you need to ask?"

"I can't believe how callous you are in using me." I gave her the evil eye and squeezed my jeans zipper shut while lying flat on her bed. This was so hard to do, pretending that nothing big was going down while deviously planning away in silence.

"Well." Audra fluffed her curls and smiled at her reflection with a wink. "I won't fail you if you ever need an alibi."

"Thanks a lot." Suddenly, what I thought was guilt, turned out to be fear and I didn't recognize it until it clutched my stomach. What if I fainted from losing too much blood? How badly did it hurt? Would I be embarrassed if Josh saw my boobs? Should I even take my clothes off? Wait, do people have to take their clothes off for sex? "Uh, Audra?" I hated how sandpapery my tongue felt when I spoke.

She sat on the bed, every item inside her purse littering her lap. "Yeah?" Her painted eyebrows pinched, but she didn't bother to look up.

I slid my top on and brought my fist to my mouth. My teeth held the side of my index finger in place. What did I want to ask her exactly? If I tried, she'd catch on and then that would be the end of it all. Audra loved to pry and ask tons of questions. I'd have no peace.

"What?" She finally lifted her eyes.

"I really don't want to be alone." I was chickening out. Josh would never know the difference because I never told him what I was planning. I regretted the fact that I left my bra under my pillow back at home. How stupid was I? Dad would kill me! Mom would just die.

Rather than gaze at me, she scanned my outfit. "Woohoo! You're going to wear that? You're braver than I thought."

My face grew super-hot and I crossed my arms over my chest. "I just realized I forgot my bra." Sounded lame, but Audra was like that, too. She forgot her underwear tons. So why not me?

"You're my idol!" She jumped up and pried my arms away. Her eyes narrowed and she tilted her head. "You can't really see through see through, but you can see through."

"Really?" I stepped like a cautious doe to the mirror and angled my shoulders this way and that. Lifting my arms in every position possible, I decided that it would be less obvious if I let my pigtails fall over my chest.