trendsetter ☹ matthew e.

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"My mind is so twisted. It feels so wrong, but I know it's what's right for me."

Alena & Matthew are around the ages 16/15, and both in Junior year ((11th grade)).

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"You guys are goals," I pouted, looking at Matthew and his newest boyfriend, Tony, cuddling next to each other across from me.

"I think we're better though, babe," My girlfriend Tanaya winked, kissing my cheek. I mentally cringed as I forced on a fake smile and turned my head.

"I mean, I guess so." I laughed, avoiding any other conversation.

It fell silent after that, until Matthew spoke up.

"So, are you guys going to the dance?" Matthew asked.

"Yes."

"No."

A confused expression covered her face, and she opened her mouth to speak.

"I can't. I don't want to." I told her quickly before she had the chance to speak.

"Well, you guys should go, I mean Matthew and I are going, right sugar?" Tony asked Matthew, smiling proudly.

Matthew nervously glanced at me, and slowly shook his head. "No.. Plans changed, I'm sorry love."

Tony looked shocked. His mouth was trying to form words but he only choked them down.

"Ok."

"Are you okay with that?" Matthew asked, his infamous "I SO Care" emotion coming in to play.

"I mean it does suck," Tony started to sniffle a little, his cheeks turned a fiery red and his eyes remained strictly on the table. "But, I'll get over it, We can always go to the next one, right handsome?"

Matthew glanced at me, his teeth latching onto his lower lip. "S-Sure, Love."

Matthew's eyes shifted away, and looked all around him, enjoying the view of all the other normal, in love teenagers.

I don't know why I couldn't be like them. I liked boys, and as scary as it was to admit that, I knew deep down that I did. My mind is so twisted. It feels so wrong, but I know it's what's right for me.

"Well, This is boring," Tanaya commented, standing up from her seat. "Tony, wanna go get some fro-yo or something? It's clear to me that our lovers don't give a fuck about us."

"Babe, Sit down, Please. You're making a scene," I lightly told her, tugging on the hem of her shirt.

Tanaya smacked my hand away, leaving a stinging red mark where she did.

"Don't fucking touch her like that."

Matthew stood up, his jaw clenched and his arm muscles flexed in the most gracious way possible.

"You have no right to tell me what to do, Matthew," Tanaya told him sternly, her arms clutching around her body-builder body. "She's my girlfriend, not yours."

"Yeah? Well, I-I like- I mean, I- love- No wait," Matthew fumbled trying to gather the right words, and he bit his lower lip. He sighed and shook his head, looking straight at the table, "She's like a sister to me, I don't want you to hurt her."

My eyes drooped a little, and my heart sank as low as it has ever been. My brain stopped functioning a little, as it seemed like a broken record playing "She's like a sister to me," On repeat.

Oh how much I would've loved for Matthew to tell me he had feelings for me, even if it were in front of a cafeteria full of people (all normal people in fact) and swoop in and give me the biggest hug he ever had, I knew it would never happen.

"Alright Matthew, I'm sorry for everything," Tanaya apologized, bringing me out of my trance.

She had never apologized to me, or the dozens of people's hearts she had broken while meeting me, She was always kind of... Cold Hearted; Which shocked me, because she was, although I like boys I have to admit, Very Beautiful.

"I think we need a break." I spoke up.

"Yeah, I think we need a break too. It's just not working," Tanaya added after me, nodding her head.

I softly smiled at her and stood up from my chair, shaking her hand. "May life be good to you from here on out," I told her.

"Same to you," Tanaya told me, releasing the hand shake and walking away.

I glanced towards Matthew, feeling the same tightening in my throat and light headed feeling I feel when looking at him. "Wanna go get some burgers?"

"I would love to, Alena," Matthew cheekily smiled, and enlaced our hands together.

This gesture made me smile, but it quickly faded as I realized that one sentence again.

"She's like a sister to me."

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fuck ok i'm sorry i haven't been updating but i owe u guys this & i rlly hope u enjoyed this chapter bc i hella know i did ,, & my emotions currently h8 me so i'm sorry if u feel emotionally drained but anyways # same lmao.

^^ what was that even ???

but anyways ,

I LOVE YOU !!!

have a good day/night babes ((:

xox, claire