trendsetter ☹ matthew e.

09%

"Don't. I-I.. I can't."

------

I sat on-top of the school restroom counter, watching other students exit as they saw the 'crazy psycho girl who beat up a locker' walk in.

I huffed, rolling my eyes. "Everyone's looking at me like I'm crazy."

Tanaya rolled up a piece of toilet paper, wetting it under the running faucet next to us. "They're only being cautious, babe."

I cringed at her nickname, wondering if she still thinks I have feelings for her. "I don't know why they would be — My issues don't involve them, I just got a little. . . Angry."

Tanaya raised an eyebrow at me, shaking her head as she grabbed my hand and began dabbing the wet toilet paper on my bloody knuckles. "A little, huh?"

I watched her examine my knuckles, dabbing the toilet paper wherever the blood was. "Why are you even helping me?"

Tanaya looked up, her brown eyes meeting mine sincerely. "Because I miss you. And whether you deny it or not. . . I really cared for you."

I looked down, feeling guilty. If only she knew I was no longer into girl's. "I don't deny it. I know that you did — And, still do."

I awkwardly coughed. "But Tanaya, I have something to tell you."

Tanaya shushed me, placing a single finger over my lips. "It's okay, I know what you're going to say."

"What am I going to say?" I asked, amused at how she thinks she knows.

Tanaya walked over to the trash can, threw away the toilet paper and grabbed some new toilet paper from the stall roll. She walked back over to me, dabbing the toilet paper around my eyes, ridding myself of the runny mascara.

"That you still have feelings for me."

I almost choked on my spit.

"What?" I asked incredulously. Is she serious?

"You still have feelings for me, Alena. I don't blame you though, what we had was special." Tanaya told me, smiling as she finally got the final smudges of mascara off.

"Love isn't one sided, Tanaya. I didn't feel the same way you did." I admitted, hanging my head low as I nervously scratched the back of my neck.

I looked back up, knowing that I should at least have the courage to look her in the eyes. "And I am so so sorry I led you on."

Tanaya softly put her fingers under my chin, leaning closer to me. "I know you felt what I did."

Tanaya got even closer, looking into my eyes as if she was trying to get some kind of loving emotion from me.

"Don't. I-I.. I can't." I told her, grabbing her wrist softly with my hand and pulling it away.

"Tanaya, you are a great person inside and out — You are also very attractive, just. . . Not to me." I told her, watching her facial expressions change like seasons.

She shook my hand off her wrist, throwing the toilet paper in the sink. "I can't believe I fucking wasted my time with you. Rot in hell."

I looked down, shaking my head. Hopefully she didn't mean that, I don't want her to be angry with me — I can't control who I like.

I hear her angrily huff and walk away. I sigh in relief, hearing the restroom door close. I didn't want her to see me cry, especially for the second time today. Everything's just. . . Falling apart.

---

Shit's rough.

I love you!!!

Have a good day / night / afternoon

xox, claire