I Am Living With an Idiot

Forty Five || Maybe I Need This

I skipped a class so I could have friends over. I sleep with the boy I am fighting with. I act like nothing is wrong. What is wrong with me? I need to figure out my life.

"There are so many pizza boxes, way more than we had ordered last night," James complains as the last person leaves.

I know that already. I woke up in the middle of the night last night and heard Ryder talking to someone then shutting the door. My best guess is that he had ordered some food.

For some reason, I had this crazy idea that if I just ignored the problem, then it would go away. Boy, am I wrong.

"Well, it too late got to class, " he mentions as he looks at him watch, "So what do you want to do then?" he raises an eyebrow at me.

I shake my head at him. I know exactly what he is thinking and it's not going to happen. He starts to walk towards me, I just turn away from him and walk into the kitchen. Maybe that'll make him get the idea.

"Vena, what is wrong?" he asks me as he followed me into the kitchen.

I turn to him with my arms crossed, "I am not doing this again, James. Do you realize what we did yesterday?" I ask him with all seriousness.

"Oh, I do remember it. Very very well," he smirks. There is no way he is going to be serious with me. He always has to turn into a joke or a sexual innuendo.

"James, I am not in the mood for jokes. You know what I am talking about," I look at him with no amusement.

He nods and sits down at the dining table. Maybe he finally understands that this not a joke to me. I sit across from him.

"Okay, I see now that this is really bothering you and I want to work this out," he starts out, staring right into my eyes. It looks like this might go in the right direction.

"Well, how are we going to do that?" I ask him. This could end up as a big argument someone storms out again, or it could be resolved. At this point, there is really no way of telling.

"Just tell me what's bothering you," he tells me.

I sit and think for a minute, how do I put this in the nicest way possible. I don't want to sound like a bitch or a crybaby, but I also don't want to sound too nonchalant about the whole situation.

"Well, to start; you think that I cheated on you with your best friend. So what kind of sense is this? I mean I've been cheated on before. So honestly, there is no reason for me to do it, when this has happened to me before," I explain to him.

He gives me a half smile. "When this whole thing went down, I was thinking about two things, Vena. Sex and where you had been for those past hours. When those mix, it just led up to you cheating. I never thought about the other things that you would have been doing. To top it off, you told me you were with Grant, so it made sense that you were cheating. Not that you explain this to me, I understand," He expresses to me.

I nod at him, "What I really regretted doing yesterday was sleeping with you. That should have been the last thing I should have done. I guess when you are away from a person you love, feelings really catch up to you."

He smiles, "I'm sorry, Vena. I know that we have been through some stuff, but I don't want to lose you over this."

I smile a little bit back, "You're not going to lose me, James. I love you and you don't lose people you love if you have any control over it," I tell him.

"I love you too, Vena, " he smiles and pulls me into his arms.

I hug him back, resting my forehead on his shoulder. Behind him, I slip a few of my fingers under the hem of his shirt. It isn't in a sexual sense, it is more in the sense that I just needed to feel his skin.