Our Little Secret (h.s.) // editing

Eight

What the hell just happened?

I thought he liked me. I mean, really liked me. My mind must be playing tricks on me. When I finally allow myself to admit that I have feelings for Harry, they backfire into something terrible. If I would have just told him how I felt instead of being suck a bitch about it, then maybe he wouldn't have gone and shoved a needle through his face.

Not everything is about you, Janissa.

His words keep playing over and over in my head, making me feel worse about everything. When I finally have enough nerve to leave the bathroom, Jess and Harry are in the corner with each other. They both have the biggest smiles on their faces. A few of the kids ran up to Harry and started to play with his new piece of jewelry. I noticed yet another bandage on the curly haired boy. It wasn't on his arm like the other one, it was on his stomach. What would posses him to get another tattoo. Two in the same day.

I'm snapped from my thoughts when Harry's eyes connect with mine from across the room. He excuses himself from Jess, and begins to walk towards me. He motions me over to the farthest corner of the room, then takes a deep breath as I follow him.

"What?" I snap, crossing my arms. His eyes bore into mine as he places his hand in his pocket. He takes another deep breath before continuing.

"Listen, i'm-"

He was cut off my Molly running up to me telling me that Jeff needed to go to the bathroom. I ask her polity to buddy him up with Ronny, and take them into the bathroom.

"Continue." I say, my face staying mutual.

"I wanted to apologize for earlier." He breaths out. His shoulder slump as if a weight has been lifted off of them.

"What does that mean? Sorry for yelling, or the kiss?" I question. I'm not going to lie, my hope rushed to the ceiling. Maybe this would be a good time to tell him how I feel.

"Both. I shouldn't have yelled at you, and I shouldn't have kissed you like that."

"Oh." Was all I managed to say.

"Oh?" He asks. I nod my head in response as I try to understand the millions of things going through my head. "Okay, well me and Jess are gonna head out." He begins to walk towards the door, I pull him back by his arm. "What?" He chokes out. I want to tell him. I want to tell him that I want to cuddle in bed with him. That I want to kiss him all over, and have him do the same. That I love spending time with him, fighting or not. That I want to wake up in the morning with his shirt on and make breakfast for him and Jess. I want to tell him that I want him. With all of the thoughts running through my head, not one of them comes out of my mouth.

"Be careful." I say. What? That was not what I was thinking about, but I can't just come out and say that I want to be with him. Not after out little fall out.

"Be careful? Really? You're not gonna confess you undying love for me?" He laughs as if the statement wouldn't even be an option. I'm not undyingly in love with Harry. I'm not even sure if i'm in love with him, but I know I have feelings for him.

"N-no." I stutter.

"Good." He calls for Jess than they head out the door. Jess waves to me before he is rushed out by Harry.

-

It has been a long day. I pull into my driveway, and head into my flat. It's quiet, and it's always been quiet. But nothing to bad, i'm kinda used to it I guess. I walk into the kitchen to put up a pot of tea, and lay down on the couch.