Our Little Secret (h.s.) // editing

"Fuck This Fighting Shit."

(Blowing off school work to update. A bit short, but who gives a fuck. COMMENT!!!)

 

~Harry~

Today is the day.

Today is the day that me and Janissa talked about.

There are so many things going through my head at this point.

What If it is positive?

What if she leaves me?

What if she has something? Well, she's a fucking virgin, she would't have anything.

I called Janissa telling me and Jess were on our way to her house. I told her this long ass story about Jess tackling me down the stairs and her voice didn't even change a bit. 

"Don't forget the plan, Haz." Jess reminds me, smacking on his raisins.

"How can you eat those? Disgusting." I laugh along side Jess.

"Miss Janissa hates raisins, too." He smiles.

"You're a little fucker, you know that." He laughed at my gesture, soon correcting my language. We pull up to Her house, Jess moving into the backseat letting Janissa sit in front.

"His Miss Janissa!" Jess rings from the backseat. She barley flinched.

"Hi." She whispered. I watched as Jess's face dropped. We pull into the school, and Jess leans into hug me. I kiss his cheek as he wipes it off swearing he is to old for that. He just whispers a goodbye to Janissa, before he crawled out of the car. I watched as he walked into his class, turning around to wave to me.

My attention immediately turned to Janissa.

"Just because you're pissed off at me, don't take it out on Jess. I'm the one that fucked up, not him."

She simply nods her head, continuing to look down at her phone.

We dropped Jess off at school, and head off to the doctor. Honestly, i'm not going to lie, I was a little nervous about the test. What if I did have something? I don't think I would because I always use protection. Always. If I did have something, I would have known already. Right?

"You're nervous?" Janissa whispered from the passanger's side. Should I tell her I was. No, because then she would be nervous, and a nervous Janissa is never good. I should lie to her. But then the lies will just keep piling on and on.

"Yes." I say without further discussion. "Not really that I have something, just that..." I should tell her. That would give her more power over me. But she's not like that. Then again, she didn't think I was the way I am. So fucked up.

"Then, why are you nervous?" Her voice was small. Which it never is only adding to my nerves.

"I'm not ready to lose you."

I was ready for her to tell me that I could never lose her. I was waiting for that. I was riding on that. What if she did leave me? Would we still be friends, or would that end to. I mean, we haven't done anything to heated, so it should break us apart. Right?

"Would you leave me?" I whisper. My eyes leave the road for a minute connecting with her big, beautiful brown ones.

"I don't know, Harry."

Her words literally stabbed at my heart. I'm trying. I am trying to give this girl everything, but she just won't allow it.

"Why do you push people away, Janissa? I'm trying. I am trying to give you every piece of me, but you're acting like you don't want any of it!"

"So, lying counts as trying now?"

***

"The results should be in in a few days." The doctor smiles.

"Thanks, doc." I smiles. We walk out of the doctors, still in silence. She hasn't spoken to me the entire time. She has been on her phone like i'm not even here with her.

"So what's the deal?" I question. She looked confused, so I summed it up the best I could. "If I have something, you leave me?

"Harry!" She throws her hands up in frustration. "We haven't even been together long enough for you to have that much of an attachment to the relationship!"

"Not together long enough? Are you fucking kidding me?" She turns her body to walk away from me, on her phone, once again. Fuck this shit!

~Janissa~

"Not together long enough? Are you fucking kidding me?" Harry yells. I turn around to answer a text message I had gotten when I am turned around forcefully. "Will you get off the fucking phone!" Harry screams at me, taking the phone from my hand and throwing it to the floor.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I scream back out of anger.

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me is fucking loving you! I have been in love with you for fucking years spent watching you waste your time on a bunch of fucking douchbags who treat you like shit! You don't even give me the benefit of the doubt, your best fucking friend." He screams. i am to angry to process the fact that he told me that he loved me.

"It's a little hard when you go around fucking every living thing!"

"Have I once denied that?" She shouts, which is true. He never has lied to me about that. But at this point it doesn't matter. "I have never tried to have sex with you! Ever! Yes, I kissed you! Yes, I want to! Janissa, I want to more that anything to touch you!"

"That's what I mean!" I scream. My hands clench at my side as we begin to attract a crowd. "All you think about is sex, Harry!"

"All I think about?" He takes a step closer to me. Both of us to stubborn to back away. "I have been trying to get you to fall for me since Junior year! I haven't thought about having sex with you until I fell in love with you. So you can't tell me that all I think about is fucking!"

What am I supposed to say to that? I love you too? Do I love Harry?

"Fuck this fighting shit." Was the last thing Harry said before crashing his lips to mine. In front of everyone for them all to see.