Our Little Secret (h.s.) // editing

"I Really Want To Fuck You Right Now."

(Sorry guys, this is short, but I am tired, and I just wanted to get this up, because..... Janissa. 

Every one should know that by now. - T Xx)

~Harry~

"I am sorry, Haz." Jess chokes out before he hinges over the basket again. My heart breaks at his apologizing. "I didn't mean to be mean, I-"

"Shh..." I coo. "Let's just worry about you getting better for now, okay?" As if I did not feel like shit already, Jesse tried to nod his head to agree with me, but ended up almost missing the garbage can. I heard footsteps leading into the room, Janissa appearing in the doorway.

Jesse was finally able to catch his breath, laying back in bed, shortly afterwards falling asleep. I turn to Janissa, exiting the room, making sure to keep the door open.

"I have no idea how I am supposed to get him on a plane..." I shake my head trying to conjure up an idea. We could always drive. What? No, you can't drive to England. Fuck.

"We will fugue it out, but for now, you need to pack." She smiles. She finally stopped freaking out, well, enough to have an actual conversation with me. "Come here." She whispered, pulling me into my room. She sits me on the bed, crawling on my lap, and wrapping her arms around my neck. My hands find their way to her waist as they have many times before. My eyes quickly glance at the mark I left on her neck, placing a soft kiss on it. Janissa let out a hiss as my lips connected to her cheek.

"It looks good on you." I smile, causing Janissa's cheeks to flush a deep shade of red. "Don't be embarrassed, beautiful. I'd let you mark me, but I don't do the whole submissive thing, remember?"

"Not even for me?" She smiles.

"Well, for you, I'd think about it."

Janissa cuddled herself into my neck, and I let her. If I was being honest, I am scared. Yes, my mother is already gone, but I know once I go home, the reality I will have to face will tear me apart. She was my best friend besides Janissa. Actually, she was the one I would always go to to talk about her. 'Her smile mum...' I would tell her, 'it just makes you want to smile with her for some reason.' 

That's the part where she would tell me something like, 'how do you expect her to know this if you don't speak up?' or 'You need to tell her, Harold. She would be crazy if she didn't fall in love with you.'

Now what happens if me and Janissa fight? Who will I call then? I can't call my brother, being the douchbag brother that he is, but he gets that from our dad. He was a piece of shit, but he was still my father.

"Penny for your thoughts?" That sweet voice I crave whispered into my neck. She moved her arms from around my neck, to around my waist.

"I miss my mum." I pathetically laugh. Her grip on me tightens as I fight back a few tears. I hate this, I am a man, I shouldn't be crying. It is pathetic. Janissa pulled away from me to look into my eyes. We were silent for a moment as she studied me. She leaned forward, placing her forehead against mine.

"I love you." She whispered. Her words softened me, the pain subsided, even if only for a brief moment. But the point was that she can do this to me. She can stop my pain, as I hope I can stop hers.

"Thank you."

_