Our Little Secret (h.s.) // editing

"Good Boy."

(Okay, guys. I know there has been some confusion, but jess is 9. He just turned nine, hence, the adoption.)

J E S S

Mr. Louis, and Miss Janissa probably think I am sleeping by now. But it's only one. Lately, since Haz has been in the hospital, I havent been able to sleep like I used to. Usally when I can't fall asleep, I cuddle up to him, and I can fall asleep instanly. But I can't do that while he is in the hospital, and I am here, sleeping in a bed that is not mine. Miss Janissa wants to wait for Harry to get out of the hospital before she goes back to her, or his house. I'm not sure why. 

Me and Max are laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling. His words are not as harsh tonight as they normally are. Tonight he has been asking me if I was okay, and if Harry would make it. I told him how Miss Janissa, and Mr. Louis just keep saying that he will be okay, but never actually telling me how he is. Max shifted his body closer to me, pulling the blanket around both of us.

"I know you miss Harry." Max whispered, making me turn my back towards him. He slung his arm around my body, and held me the way Harry would when I couldn't fall asleep. "I know your worried, but I can promise he will be okay." With every word that left his mouth, my body began to relax.

Max was rude, inappropriate, and just plain mean. But he has been the only one who has stuck with me through this pathetic crap I call life. Yes, I am young, but I do know that life is not supposed to make you want to die. Life is supposed to make you smile and laugh, not cry, and hide.

At my age, I have been through more crap then most people twice, three times my age.

"How did you feel seeing Ian today?" He asked. He was stroking my hair, the gesture causing my eyes to become heavy.

"I didn't like it," I forced out, sleep so close to taking over. "it reminded me of being at that house."

"You're not there anymore." A soft kiss was placed on the back of my head. "I won't let you go back." His words were soft, making me miss Harry even more.

"How old are you? " Max rolled his eyes,  cuddling me tighter into his chest. He was quiet for a moment before he answered.

"16. Now sleep."

I did just that.

It was dark, and cold. I want to shiver, to keep warm, but my body won't oblige. Something I'm my mind tells me I am used to this feeling. That I am used to the darkenss, and low temperature.  When I look down, there is a small creak in the floor with a small line of light shining through. With that light, I am able to see the only article of clothing that my body is occupying. A small, thin shirt. More of a tank top. No shorts, not underwear, only that shirt.

Footsteps began to get louder the longer I stay sitting down. They are heavy, and unrythmic. I want to be scaed, I want to cry, but again, my body won't let me. My mind tells me I am used to it, and it knows what to do.

A knock sounds at my door. Not a normal kmock, but one that knocks three times, breaks, then two more.

Knock...

Knock...

Knock...

Silence...

Knock...

Knock...

Something in my mind told be to sit on the bed. So I did. But I didn't sit nomally how I would, with my legs crossed. I sat on the bed, with my legs bent, and open. The position itself made me feel very uncomfortable,  considering my clothing options. The door swung open, but the face was a bit of a blur.

"Good boy." I knew that voice. That drunken, discusting voice I would hide from at night. "Wider." He gestured, pointing to my legs. As if I had no control over my body, my legs spread wider. "Turn around." My stomach was met with the roughness of what seemed to be a a many year old matress. The man behind me took a told of my hands, binding them together with what I believed was zip ties. My heart is beating very fast, and my palms are beginning to sweat, but my mind keeps telling me to get over it. That it's just going to keep happening again, and again, and again.

I could hear the unbuckling of a belt, before a pressure was felt on my lower back.

"Open your eyes Jess, look at me." Max's deep voice whispered. He began stroking my hair, soothing me as much as he could at the moment. "He's old, he can't last long." He continued. The pressure on my back began to lower to my bum, increasing in pain. When my eyes beg to tear, Max began to speak again. "It's just a dream, Jesse. Wake up. If it hurts, just open your eyes."

The pain got worse the more he seemed to move.

"I can't." I pleaded.

"Yes you can. Just open them. "

J a n i s s a

I woke up out of my dead sleep to Jess screaming at the top of his lungs. I shot out of the bed, and made my way to Louis' guest room as fast as I could. When I got there, Jess was still asleep, coward against his bed frame.

"Jess?" I question, walking towards him. But once I reached for his shoulder to calm him down, his teeth sinking into my forarm. "Fuck!" I shouted, causing Louis to run to the room from the couch.

"What the hell happened?"

Jess was still thrashing around in the bed. I dismissed myself, telling Louis that he needed to wake him up, and calm him down. I would have stayed to help, but I'm sure Louis would much rather want his white carpet to stay white. Pain shot through my ark, by the time I made it to the bathtoom, my arm was drenched in blood. Turning the sink om, I rinse my arm, watching as the water ran scarlet.

"Do you have alcohol?" I called to the next room. I no longer heard rustling sheets, so I presumed that Jess was awake.

"Under the sink." He called back. After cleaning myself up, and wrapping a pressure bandage around my arm, I made my way back to the room. Jess was cradles in a ball against Louis' chest. His arm's were locked tight around the younger boy as he cried into his chest.

I walked over to both of the boys, taking the place of Louis, careful not to apply pressure to my arm. I tried my best to sooth the young boy, but all of my attempt had failed. So, I began to talk to the shaking boy.

"Harry comes home tomorrow," I started, "I was thinking maybe we could go to the house, and decorate it for him or something."

After about an hour of just talking about literally nothing, Jess began to calm down. He pulled away from my hold, and looked me in the eyes. His large blue ones were still shiny with tears.

"I'm nine." Jess whispered, not breaking eye contact. I tilted my head in confusion. "I've been in six foster homes." He continued.

"Jess, I don't underst-"

"Have you ever been raped, Miss Janissa?" He asked as though it were as casual as asking my favorite color.

"Jess..."

"I have." He stated. Shock settling inside of me, sadness in my heart. "Since I was four."

"Does Harry know?" I couldn't hide my shock.

"Ian was first, and then after that, it was basically and man whom wanted a turn..." After this sentence, Jess was back in my arms, in tears, shaking against my body.

It was then, in that moment, that I wanted to keep this boy safe.

That I wanted to hurt anyone and everyone who hurt him.

That I wanted to be a mother.

That I wanted to be his mother.

(Hey guys. I know this chapter is very short, but I felt it was a necessary.  I hope you enjoyed. PLEASE COMMENT WHAT YOU THINK!!!)