Just You And Me (A Michael Jackson Story)

Chapter 95: I Can't Do This..

Charlotte's Point of View

It's 6:00 p.m, and the Christmas Tree just arrived, the children are really excited because they will get to decorate a Christmas Tree this year, and Michael and I are excited too. The tree is just perfect; it's height is perfect for our house, it's color is between a light and dark green, and it's so huge and it gives the house a perfect Christmas touch. But, there's something that's been bothering me lately; Julian and Chelsea..Julian in one hand, he's not stable with his parents and it's almost Christmas, and it hurts me seeing him so down, in the other hand, Chelsea and her new mother. I know it's going to take awhile for her to get used to it, but I think she will like this new mother of her's, I hope so.

I shake those thoughts out of my mind, and head back to work on the tree. Right now, Michael, Sarah and Daryl are getting the decorations out of some boxes. Jessica and I are just sitting by the fire, watching them have their fun. I love to help decorate the tree, but today I want Sarah and Daryl to spend some quality time with their daddy, and decorating the Christmas Tree is a fantastic way to do that. Michael sits down beside me on the floor beside the fireplace, and kisses the top of my head comfortingly. I smile up at him, and look down at Jessica - which is sitting on my lap, clapping her hands together playfully - I giggle at her, and snuggle my nose against her sensitive cheek.

"Mommy, can I ask you something?" Sarah shyly asks, sitting in front of me. I remove some curls out of her face, so I can see her eyes better. She's so beautiful, but she has more traits from Michael; like her black curls, her light caramel skin, and those big, dark, sensitive eyes. All of my focus goes on her, and I nod. She clears her throat as she asks "Why was Chelsea crying yesterday and today? I know it was because she's getting a new mommy, but Nicole is really nice, and she seems really cool..." I swear, everytime I hear her speak, she talks even more like an adult, and that kind of makes me happy, seeing her talking like a mature person.

"Well, sweetie.." I start, looking at Michael from the corner of my eye for guidance. I clear my throat before I say something else "Everyone goes through change at one point in their lives, right? Well, this is exactly what's happening with Chelsea's family. Cameron fell in love, and now he's getting married tomorrow.." I stop and close my eyes for a second, before feeling Michael's hand on mine, "Well, Chelsea is going through alot right now, and yes, Nicole may be a very nice person, but maybe, Chelsea doesn't see that yet. A new mommy for her is something that's going to take time to adapt to, there are a lot of things going through Chelsea's mind right now, darling, and it's not easy having a new mommy, but maybe one day, she'll adapt to it, and everything will be okay, I hope..."

"Oh, so change is make or become different in good and bad ways. Just like Granny and Grampy, Margaret and Paul? After they died, we changed and got over the sad times, and instead we cherished them in good ways, right?" She says, and when I hear those words coming out of her mouth, I feel like if somebody just punched my stomach really hard, and tears form in my eyes, even though I'm trying to hide them. It's okay, she didn't know...I like that she sees that like a good change for us, and yes, it was a great change for all of us.

"Y-Yes, sweetie, just like that.." My voice cracks, even though I still try to sound normal, "Now, go back to decorating the tree with Daryl, we need to get finished before tomorrow..." I say, trying to change the subject as quickly as I possibly can. She smiles at me, and goes back to decorating the tree. I lay my head back, and let the tears stream down my eyes, even though I don't know if anyone can see them. Michael's grip on my hand tightens as more tears roll down my cheeks. I wish they were here, I wish they were, I know we weren't the "perfect little family", but at least they tried to give me a good life, and I love them to death, I just wish they were here, so I wouldn't miss them so much.