lament

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2016

You pushed me to the brink,
And I pushed you away.
But that was only to numb the heartache,
Which seemed to follow your name.

But the moment
I think I've recovered,
Here you come along.
How dare you reopen my wounds
After I worked to heal them for so long.

The mere homicide of your words,
Or lack thereof, cut more than
Any razor or any knife,
And believe me,
I, of all people,
Know exactly what that feels like.

Your lies stole the air from my lungs
And the blood from my heart.
You left me no longer fully operational,
And yet you still possess the sheer audacity
To ask me if we can restart?

The short answer is no.
How can I forgive you when you can't even
Own up to your mistakes?
How can I forgive you when
You cannot even bear
To say such apologies to my own face?

You single-handedly ruined my year,
You nearly destroyed my life,
And did this all with a smile on your face,
Happy with your new luxurious life.

And now, of all times,
I hear that you miss me;
I hear you want me back.
But as materialistic as you've become
I doubt it's as simple as that.

You only want what you can't have,
And you've far surpassed your chance.
You only want me back because
I'm no longer in your grasp.

But do not misinterpret my words.
I am not angry; I am hurt.
I should've known better
Than to ever think we would work.

It's not that I don't love you.
It's that I no longer know who you are.
I mourn the death of the old you,
The one who was both
My moon and my stars.

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