♥Dissonance♥Prince of tennis♥Shitenhouji♥

♥35♥ Truth Part 1

"Chinami...!"

Zaizen's feet did not stop running. He didn't stop even if he bumped into people, he didn't stop no matter how heavy the rain poured down upon him. He didn't stop no matter what because he needed to see her. He can't lose her! Not like this! He still needed to apologize to her!

Why?

Why does he need to be there? Didn't he say he didn't need her?

He's a liar...

"CHINAMI!!!"

He did care about her...even though he told her he didn't care about her, he has been doing things in the background to protect her. He always took her note books home so no one can vandalize them; he came to school early to put her notes back to its rightful place; get rid of the vase and flower on her desk; he confronted the girls who were bullying her because of Shiraishi, and he hid the pain in his heart as he always kept an eye on her from afar.

He often wondered why he did so much for her. She's just another girl he would see in school so why did she matter to him?

Ah...

That's right...

'I love her...' Zaizen finally realized he hasn't stopped protecting her because of his feelings for her. He loved her. He loved this red haired girl with green eyes. He loved her sweet smile; he loved how she hits people with the paper fan; he loved her innocence, but most of all...he loved the very fact he just can't hate her. Every time he spited her with words, his heart would internally cry out for her to come back to him.

When he finally made it to the scene, he pushed through the crowd of people, who were busy spectating the scene of the incident. His eyes widened when he managed to get to the police line. Blood started mixing with the forming puddles, washing away the trace of death. He can hear people saying that the victim did not survive at all and the emergency doctors were quick to clear the body.

Each person leaving added weights into his aching heart. Knees gave way and he can feel something flowing from his eyes. Tears? He's crying? No, it had to be the rain, right?

"Chinami..." Without his control, the memories of their shared moment started to flow out and remind him just how important she was to him. That sweet smile of hers will never return, she will never ever come back to him. She has left him behind without hearing his apology...she left him and everyone behind.

Zaizen found it hard to accept reality and he let it all out in an anguish scream to the very gray sky, which responded to his pain with a loud roar of thunder.

"I'm sorry..." It's too late now. His words will not reach her anymore. Why didn't he tell her how he really felt before everything? He had the chance to change her fate and his own! "Forgive me...I didn't want to, I never wanted to hurt you!" Zaizen had never felt such emotion before and he felt it's very out of character for him to hit the concrete with his fist. He wondered if he looked shameful but he didn't care at all because hitting the concrete until skin broke out with blood seemed like a good punishment for him. "Chinami, it's not me that you need. I need you too..." Silent tears continued to flow along with the rain. He should have said sorry when he had the chance to and now he will have to live the rest of his life with this one regret weighing down his heart. "I don't want this! Please...please don't leave me..."