Carry Me Home

Eight

Evelyn

My promise to Hayden was to forgive Rowan so that was exactly what I was going to fulfil. Immediately after our conversation, I left to go and find Rowan. It was unfair on my part to make him feel as if I hated him when I now knew the truth. The circumstances may not go back to normal but at least they'll be repaired slightly.

I approached the familiar mahogany door and knocked with a tight fist. I occupied myself by glancing around the boys' dormitory area whilst patiently waiting for Rowan to unlock the door. When my patience started to convert to restlessness I knocked again. I heard a faint groan from the opposite end of the door and suddenly the door unlocked revealing a sleep deprived Rowan. He rubbed his eyes before looking at me. When he did glance at who had been knocking his eyes widened, losing any evidence that he was drowsy.

"Hayden isn't here," he said monotonously.

"I was actually here for you, Rowan." I said sheepishly, unconsciously starting to twiddle my thumbs out of nervousness.

"Me?" Confusion glazed over his features as he leaned against the door-jamb. I nodded. He abruptly remembered that I was still standing outside and asked me to enter. I sat down on the bed closest to the door and he plopped down beside me, yanking a sweatshirt on.

"I came to apologise," I blurted out.

"He told you, didn't he?" Annoyance painted his tone and it was evident in his facial expression that he was pissed. "Listen, Evelyn, if Hayden trusts you with this then I expect you not to break it. Hayden is like my brother. I've been with him through everything and vice versa. Evelyn, I swear if you hurt him by using this secret then you'll have to deal with me."

This is was the Rowan I was afraid. The same murderous look in his eyes returned and this time it was directed towards me.

"I only came here to - uh - to forgive - to forgive you, Rowan. I would never cause Hayden any harm." Rowan leaned in closer, close enough that I could distinctively smell his aftershave.

"I don't need your forgiveness as long as you abide by Hayden's trust."

"You don't trust me?" I asked, a little hurt that he thought I wasn't trustworthy.

"I don't trust anyone unless I've known them for more than a year and if they've given me good reason not to not trust them." I nodded and looked away from his vibrant sea coloured eyes. He abruptly stood up and threw a book at the wall beside us causing me to flinch whilst his eyes darkened. "You weren't supposed to know this, god-dammit! He's known you for two weeks for fuck's sake!" I tentatively placed my hand on his cotton clad shoulder. He glanced at my hand and his eyes softened by a tiny bit.

"I'm sorry, Rowan," I apologised timidly. A loud groan erupted in his chest straight away.

"Why're you apologising?"

"I don't know."

"Evelyn, I don't want you to be offended by any means. I just want Hayden to stay safe. This world is full of bigots but there's nothing we can do to change each and every one of their minds. I'm sorry for yelling at you but I want Hayden to stay with me for as long as possible. He may look as if he's joyful from the outside but the broken interior is what people miss to see. As long as Hayden finds people who will help him through this bullshit thing we call life then I don't care who he is. He could decide to be an unemployed adult still living with his parents but as long as he has those special people then he'll be fine." I smile stretched out onto my face as a reaction to Rowan's speech. He truly cared about Hayden and that was really touching.

"I applaud people like you, Rowan. People who stick up for someone who may be slightly different from the next person and might not have the confidence to declare it. It's truly heart-warming." I did something I wouldn't ever have expected me to do; I stood on my toes and warmly kissed his cheek. He tried to disguise his astonishment and gave out a small laugh instead.