Carry Me Home

Forty-Nine

Evelyn

I woke up earlier than everyone else this morning and cleaned up the mess in the living room that hadn't been touched for a month since Rowan's admittance into hospital. I fluffed the pillows, organised all the books and wiped the table. The dishes had piled up for a few days so I washed them slowly and put them away in their designated space.

The flat lost its livelihood and any presence of life it had was missing. The quiet drove us all insane but none of us did anything about it. We all missed him. Every second of every minute of every day he was on our minds. No amount of visits to the hospital could cure the absence he left at home. There were so many things I didn't tell him and so many things we didn't do together and I don't even know if they'll ever happen anymore.

I crashed onto the sofa and leaned into it with my head thrown back across the back. I shut my eyes and breathed deeply. I missed him so much and it was messing with my head that every time I spoke to him I never got a response back. Everytime I look at him I wish to see his eyes open so that I can stare at them again but it doesn't happen.

"Evie?" I opened my eyes and diverted my gaze to the direction of the voice to see that Mason was up. "You're up early, and I see you've cleaned," he said, looking around the place whilst scratching the back of his head.

"The place was a mess so I had to otherwise it would've only gotten worse."

"I got up early to do the same thing to be honest," he gave a small laugh and walked into the kitchen.

I started getting ready for university as Cyrus and Hayden started to wake up. I wore the same clothes as yesterday and tied my hair up into a bun before grabbing my bag and waiting for Hayden and Mason to be ready.

"Are you going to visit Rowan again today?" Mason asked as he and Hayden got into the car.

"Yeah. Are you going to come along again today?" I replied, driving out of the car park.

"Uh huh."

"Caleb is coming as well today," Hayden pitched in.

I nodded and none of us said anything else until we arrived on campus. Rowan was the only topic on our minds and nothing else seemed to make its way whenever we had brief conversations nowadays. Nothing felt normal.

xx

After class today I took a long walk down the hall to clear my mind and look out the windows to admire the weather. It was calm today - no rain, no blowing wind. I leaned forward and closed my eyes as I breathed the crisp air in. I rested my head against the wall and stood there in silence.

"Evie?" I broke out of my zoning out and realised Cadence and Aubree were right in front of me. I straightened up and furrowed my brows.

"Hi," I replied, not knowing what to say. I hadn't talked to the two of them since the last time Faye had visited which was months ago so the fact that they were talking to me now completely baffled me.

"We heard about Rowan and we're very sorry." Aubree said, casting her gaze towards the floor.

"There's nothing to apologise about. It's not your fault," I said, shrugging and resuming my previous position.

"We wanted to apologise about our behaviour towards you. We're all turning twenty this year yet we behaved like a bunch of teenagers fighting over their crushes. We apologise for that," Cadence said, giving me an awkward smile.

"You hardly did anything to me, honestly you don't need to apologise. Thank you though."

"We're all rooting for Rowan, Evelyn. He's stronger than you think and will get through this," Aubree reassured me.