My Innocent Love (Book 1 In Novice Love Series)

Chapter 18- Firm Determination

The pain of losing your first love before even getting them is such that which no human being can describe till date. The hollowness which you feel in your heart can't be put in words, it can only be experienced by seeing the emptiness in your life after losing the most precious person in the world. But when the fault is completely yours, and the other person has suffered so much, then the deep anguish, agony, frustration, sorrow and above all hate you feel for yourself, is worth understanding.

Aayush never thought that the day which was supposed to be the best day of his life would turn out to be the most painful day for him. He had lost his Raisha, the moment he had finally realized her value in his life. The moment he had found out that she was his old Raisha, he had been proud of her to see her recover and fulfill her dreams like everyone else did.

He realized that she didn't want anyone to know about her not even him but it didn't cross his mind ever that she had heard everything which he told seven years back. He had been guilty since that day but what the situation was he said it all to let out his frustration and now he was standing all alone with no one to love him, to be part of his life because the girl who loved him unconditionally has finally let her guard of attitude and arrogance down and she had finally merged herself in her own self-pity.

"Are you going to sit in front of the hostel all your life and wallow in your self-pity?" he heard the manly voice and turned around to see Raisha's brother standing with Yuvi and Isha. He had a hard expression on his face. Aayush immediately looked down as his guilty conscience mocked him.

The three approached him and he didn't have guts to see in their eyes or particularly he didn't have guts to even meet his own eyes.

"How could you say all that to her Bhai? I thought you knew what pain and hurt were but you just mocked someone who was already subjected to so much of humiliations even after knowing her", Isha was the first one to accuse.

They had followed Aayush out, witnessing the entire scene from afar but hearing Raisha's outburst they have been shocked at their wit's end. Confused, they confronted her brother, Nikhil whom they have seen at the far end witnessing his sister's breakdown.

"I didn't know she had heard everything", he replied in a grim low tone.

"Even if she wouldn't have heard, what right do you even have to say those disgusting things about her Aayush?" Yuvi chided him feeling ashamed of his best friends actions and Aayush's face fell seeing the disgust for him on his friends face.

"I know I have messed up big time but I really love her now. I can't go on without her", he said pleading them from his eyes, whether he said it or not he felt like a loser today. Isha's eyes watered seeing her powerful brother like this.

"Isha, Yuvi do you guys mind checking up on Raisha? I am sure she is crying her lungs out after...." Nikhil left the sentence incomplete as his eyes darted at Aayush's face which looked more pained now as he realized that Nikhil wanted to say "After hurting him".

He knew it for sure that rejecting him wasn't easy for her as well, as much as it pained him it might have almost killed her broken soul again.

They both nodded and Aayush sat down on the bench holding his head. He felt Nikhil sitting beside him and he spoke in a low voice "Will she not even give me one chance to redeem myself? I know I have caused her a great deal of pain in spite of knowing everything, but the truth is I love her with all my being and I can't live without her or even knowing that I have hurt her so much".

"Aayush what would you have done if you were in her place?" Nikhil asked in a stern voice.

Aayush turned his attention to Nikhil and replied in an honest voice "I would have hated everyone who mocked me or humiliated me".