Shaira's Inbox

5- Misunderstanding

The first day of the month was supposed to be Shaira and Nigel's third month. It seemed that too many things have happened already. They knew each others' imperfections, longings,joys and sadness.

The cool-off went well with Shaira's brave heart. She did not have time and guts to chase Nigel because the day after the cool-off, he wanted the relationship to come back to normal.

"How could he do that? I'm not a joke. I got hurt. Totally hurt, " Shaira was thinking when her phone sounded. She expectantly picked it up.

                      "Hi mommy! I miss you."

"Mommy?"

                      "Yeah. I was wanting to call you mommy love."

"So what's this Nigel? We've just cooled-off."

                       I'm so sorry. My mistake. I just can't. I can't do this without you."

 Shaira sighed. She would let her heart build itself together again. Nigel was her cure.

"Hmmm. It was not funny you know."

                       "I know. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me my mommy love. How's your mom and dad?"

 Just like that, Shaira was taken away by his sweetest mood and his calling her mommy love, and his saying that he missed her. She did not want to be a difficult girlfriend for Nigel because their situation was already difficult. She wanted him to be the girlfriend that he would never forget because Nigel was one unforgettable person for her no matter what.

The conversation went well. They were both smiling again. She wondered about the time that they would spend in each others' company, fighting and then loving without giving up with each other. She pictured herself with Nigel all matured, as she kept herself looking young that nobody would ever guess that her age was years apart from him.

Mommy love. It was the first time he called her that way. It was also the first time a guy called her that name. It was a little funny but she was thrilled as if her stomach was grumbling of excitement.   

"Mommy love?"

                      "Yes. You're my mommy love. Don't you like it?"

"That sounds great."

                       "I wish I could see you often."

As their love grew, their fondness for each other grew deeper until it hurt. It was the same root of little fights. Too much longing to see each other made Nigel moody. Or was he?

*****

Shaira woke up the next day feeling light and she was thinking of ways to be herself again. She was also finding ways to make Nigel fall for her all over again. She was determined to fight for her love. She was ready to show the world that there was nothing wrong in loving somebody who was not her age level.

Still, her mind revealed that there was something wrong. And she was determined to keep herself guarded. Maybe that negative feeling would just go away. She had to trust Nigel for she chose to love him.

It was 3:00 in the afternoon. 

                            "Snack time mommy love."

"Thanks, what do you have for snacks?"

                             "I cooked some pasta. Come, let's eat."

"Wow! I'm good here. Eat heartily. :)"

Nigel was then asking for an advice about what to do with his life in the future. Shaira was so eager to help him arrive at the right decision by  asking about his skills and talents. 

Nigel can play the guitar, Shaira thought. He could be popular among the girls with his chinkyeyes that look intently towards the soul. They might be younger, prettier, and more deserving. The thought sent her goosebumps. She would never dare push him to become a musician. Besides, it takes  a fortune to make a famous musician that would last until retirement age. Even if Shaira loves music, having a future with him has to be financially stable.

Nigel also loves to cook. Shaira could tell with their everyday text messaging that he was passionate about cooking. She could not wait for a dinner in the future when he would prepare the food for the two of them. Shaira considers guys who cook are the sweetest. She smiled.

"Why don't you  take culinary arts and be a chef, or probably have your own restaurant in the future?"

                      "That is my first choice but we could not afford cooking school. I still have brothers and sisters who are also in the elementary, secondary, and tertiary level."

"So what else is on your mind?"

                       "I am thinking of joining the police. What do you say?"

"Do you want to be one?"

                      "Well, I think I could adjust to it."

"They say that the training is hard. Will you stand it?"

                       "I will survive."

If he would take the Police Academy, he would be assigned somewhere farther than they were  at present, Shaira thought. All her rounding vision of them together was falling apart. There would be a greater chance that this relationship would not survive. He could survive the police training but not another longer time without her or a woman. 

Shaira's hands felt cold. She wanted to cheer herself instead of letting those thoughts linger in her mind. She would not open that thought to him. Not now. Let him choose his path. In the meantime, she wanted to change the mood of their conversation.

"Oh no. They might kill you!"

                     "Don't be so pessimistic. You are not helping in one way or another. This is already very difficult for me."

"I'm sorry daddy love. I was was just saying a possibility."

There was no reply afterwards. She begged for forgiveness after a realization that she was all wrong. She blamed herself for his bad temper. She acted childishly and it probably annoyed Nigel. He was damn serious about it.

Her hands were cold again. 

"This kid has a lot of ways to make her mind twirl upside-down," she thought.

All she did was think of him. Think of what to say when he texts back, think of things that were not even happening at the moment. Shaira could not imagine that he was teaching her to act her age. She realized that Nigel had that sense of maturity within him. But a little voice inside of her dictated that if he was matured enough, he would not get easily flustered by a simple misunderstanding and by a girlfriend who only tried to cheer him up. She knew he was feeling bad for not getting what he wanted. Or was she comforting herself again? 

In a week, Nigel did not text back.