Don't leave...We need you (5SOS Ashton Irwin) *COMPLETED, EDITING*

31: Back again

*Heyo ok so @NataliaYehQue got it right first 5SOS did eat a pizza in their last 5SOSvsFOOD but they haven't uploaded it to YouTube yet :( also @harrys_babe @SamSchramm @emily518 @MitchiLovesMusic @1derland_girlz and @vldub99 got it right :-)*

31: Back again

*Beccas POV*

It's back again. Worse than ever. They drum in my head louder and louder creating nightnares and vision.

The dreaded voice swells in my mind even when its not there whilst I begin to live in fear.

I thought it was going. I couldn't have been more wrong. Its back again and the worst thing is. I am the only one who knows why, the only one who can ever know. I can't tell a soul, not even Ashton and the pain that is causing is excruciating. He has got me so far and helped so much and then a bastard in life decides to come and ruin my life once again.

Ashton of course will try to help again but he will get annoyed if I don't tell him and I can't tell him.

*Ashtons POV*

We woke up and Becca seems a different person. She won't let me kiss her, hug her let alone touch her. She won't talk and keeps starring into space. She doesn't even say hello to Leo when he walks into the room. It's driving me insane.

"Becca?" I call to the girl sitting on the opposite sofa to me. She doesn't respond whatsoever, as if that's not even her name.

I walk over to her and immediately she starts to get up. Not this time. I grab her wrists and push her back down onto the seat. She squirms but won't look at me or make a noise. Its killing me. I can't get her to stop struggling so I sit on her lap facing her knowing that there's no way that she will be able to push my weight off. When she realises this she breaks down into sobs. My heart breaks. I don't care what she wants, I need to comfort her.

I wrap my arms around Becca and pull her into my chest. She clings onto my top and sobs harder. I rock her back and forth.

"Shh Becca it's okay, can you tell me whats wrong?" I whisper in her ear. I get no response.

"I might be able to help" I desperately search for something to get her to tell me.

Becca freezes, her sobs quieten. Success! She pulls back to look straight in my eyes.

"Its back, it's happening again." She whispers before going back to sobbing.

I digest what she just said.

"But it's okay, we can get through this" I whisper, she can't give up not again.

Becca clings onto me again, this is when I see her wrists. At first I think she has started to cut herself again, but this is when I realise that their not knife marks, their finger nail marks.

It hurts to know that once again she wants to cut. I know of only one person in the world who would like to hurt her and I won't let him, but why does she think she needs to hurt herself.

"Babe I want to help, but I can't if I don't know what's wrong" I whisper. Once again she doesn't respond.

*Beccas POV*

You know I said how much pain I was in before? Yeah well this is worse. It's on the tip of my tongue, I want to tell him so bad, but I know the consequences. I know he will find out, I don't know how but I just know he will.

Ashton cups my chin and presses his lips to mine. I barely respond, I feel too bad. Ashton pulls away rejection written in his eyes. The pain is impossible to handle, I don't care though about making my pain better, I care more about fixing Ashtons.