Its going on 2:00 in the morning and I still haven't even closed my eyes all I've been thinking about for the last 4 hours is what happened with nivia in the car I can't believe she thought I was gonna hurt her and that look in her eyes....I can't get it out of my head I've only seen that look once before its the same look my mom would have in her eyes when my dad came home every night high off of whatever it is that he was on that night and he'd do whatever he felt he wanted to do to her even if that meant sharing her with his friend's
Just the thought of what he put us through sickens me and I hate that I made my girl feel like I'd hurt her like that I've never showed her that I'd be so low to take what's most precious to her away I don't know what happened in those 5minutes its like she went into another state of mind
I can't even lie though lately I've been feeling like she's been hiding things from me I know there's so much more to her than this sincere smile she puts on everyday I see it from a mile away there's something weighing heavy on her brain every time I look in her eyes its like looking into a mirror she has the same look I do the look life gives you when you've been cut so deep we both have scars but maybe hers are more complexed than mine
