Dear Nivia I'm sorry I couldn't be everything you needed I was wrong to come off the way I did that night it just angered me to see someone else have your attention other than me I wanted you to know that at homecoming I wasn't angry with you because you weren't ready to give me what's most precious to you I was angry with myself because that look you gave me was the same look my mom gave my dad when him and his friends used to get drunk and rape her and I never did anything to help her I always stood there with tears in my eyes while i watched him force himself in and out of her I remember there was a day that you asked what made me so cold inside well there it is every time he raped her she was more and more withdrawn from me and my brothers Growing up I felt like I had no one like maybe there was no one out there who could love me Nivia I prayed to God and hoped that person would've been you because I know I haven't really been honest with you or myself in particular truth is my love for you goes deeper than anything I 've ever told you Over these past few months you've become apart of me they say eve was created from one of Adams ribs well baby your every vessel in my heart your what keeps me alive your the warmth of my soul and with you I no longer feel cold and alone I hate that we ended because I wanted to be selfish and think about my own feelings even if in this lifetime I never get to be more than just a friend with you again I want you to know that I've enjoyed the last four months we've known each other and no matter where life takes us I promise to never forget you your my everything your the sunshine in my rainy days from day one when you smiled I knew deep down no matter how bad things were that everything would be okay I love you Nivia until the end of my days
Yours truly,
Terrell Travis
"You really love her don't you man"Chris said staring at me as I finished the letter I wrote to nivia
"Yeah man its more than love I don't know how I'm going to live without her"i said with my head in my hands
"You got us sitting in front of her house at 4:00 in the morning why don't you just call her I'm sure she misses you to"chris said
"I can't face her or anybody after everything that happened plus we got a plane to catch Their gonna ship Treys body to New York so he could be buried there Tony said he'll be down in a few days for the funeral"i said before getting out the car and walking up to the door
I placed the letter on the door step and for a minute I thought about knocking but decided against it I guess its really time to let her go maybe she'd be better off without me around fucking her life up I did nothing but bring her pain anyway
"Goodbye Nivia"i whispered before getting into my car speeding off the airport There was no use of staying in California anymore I'm no longer needed here I lost my brother and the love of my life in this place I guess they were right when they said not every fairytale has a happy ending
