Can You Forgive?

I'm Done!

"Hi" I spoke shyly, "hey" brad replied. "Erm, can I come in, I need to talk to you" I asked. He stood aside to let me in, he seemed just as awkward as me. Great! Cause that will make it easier. NOT! "So what did you want to talk about, because I was kind if in the middle of getting ready" he spoke as he grabbed his shirt. I didn't even notice that he was only in his trousers. That right, Brad Simpson was shirtless and I didn't even notice. What is wrong with me?

"Look brad, I we need to talk about the other day" he paused and looked at me. I was about to say something else but he got in there before. "It meant nothing!" He almost yelled. I was quite taken back but I don't know why. It's not like I expected him to tell me that he still loves me, or that he wants to get back it me but I didn't expect him to be so upfront and brutal about it! "OK, but what about all the stuff you said?" I asked. "Why, what did I say? I thought we just kissed" he asked. Oh god this was about to get a whole lot more awkward. "Brad you told me that you missed me and that you still loved me" I explained. He looked shocked.

We stood in an awkward silence for about 2 minutes until I could take it any more. "Brad please say something" I pleaded. I can't take awkward silences and especially not with brad because even when he doesn't look at me, he makes me feel even more awkward. "Look, before I say anything, I need to know what that kiss meant to you?" Great! "Brad that doesn't matter but I just need to know what it meant to you, I mean you're the one who is getting married." I tried to flip the question around but it didn't work. "STOP DOING THAT LUCY! You know it drives me crazy!" He yelled. What have I done now? "Stop doing what?" I yelled back. How can he get so angry with me, all I did was ask a question. "Changing the questing back around to me. You always do it. Why can't you just give me straight answer for once? And why can't you look me in the eye" I didn't even notice that I wasn't but at the same time I knew that I couldn't because I would probably break down into tears.

I didn't reply. I couldn't. How could I tell him that is still loved him on the day of his wedding to another woman. "LUCY!" He yelled again. "You know what brad, I should have never come, I will just leave, have a great wedding" I yelled as I headed for the door. He ran in front of me. "You can't just leave! Tell me what that kiss meant because I need to know!" OK if he wants the truth, he can have it. I am sick of pretending. I'm sick of pretending to be happy for him. I am sick of pretending that I don't love him. I am sick of pretending that I don't miss him because I do. I miss his stupid smirk. The way he would make me scream at him. The way he would drive me insane by juts looking at me! The way he could make me feel that no one else can do. I miss it all. "OK brad you want to know what that kiss meant?" I yelled as tears started to run down my cheeks. "That kiss meant everything. That kiss reminded me of how we used to be. It reminded me of how much I still love you" "you still love me?" He almost whispered as he looked at me with pure shock. "YES I STILL LOVE YOU! I love everything about you. And I miss you like crazy. Do you not understand what you did to me when you left? You broke me! You were everything brad, my world but when you left me, you broke me. You broke my world into pieces. You left me a broken girl while you ran off with your pathetic little girlfriend and didn't even look back. Then you came back, expecting us to be friends, well I can't do it any more, I'M DONE!" Every piece of emotion I had built up inside of me about him was released. I pushed past him and stormed out! He didn't even try to stop me. I slammed the door shut. I stood there alone, crying my eyes out. How can he break my heart again? How can one boy make me feel so alone and broken! I cried and cried until I could no longer catch my breath.

Then it hit me. What did I just do?