99 Steps

Step 4: Imagine

"I can't believe you are making me do this." Jack looked up at the roller coaster in front of them.

"You said you would before we left, and-" the screaming of the people on the ride cut him off as they were shot backwards, going up at an almost 90 degree angle, being held up a couple hundred feet in the air before being shot back down, going up the same way in the other side.

"It's gonna be alright, we're only on for a couple of seconds." Mark smiled, grabbing at Jack's arm. He had become a lot more touchy throughout the day, which bothered Jack a little bit, but he wasn't going to say anything.

"So what if the thing breaks when we go up? What if the seat belts come undone and we fall. We wouldn't survive the fall onto those fence posts." Jack had broken out of his shell a lot more, but he would probably change again when he woke up in the morning. It was a common thing that happened.

"Then we die. But at least we can fly on the way down." Mark joked, but Jack watched with wide eyes as the people got off, realizing it was their turn.

They got strapped in, and Jack could feel his anxiety kicking in. He held on to the straps and bars that came across his body, crossing his legs at his ankles. They hung down awkwardly, meaning they would be dangling in the open air when the went up.

"Hey, it's fine to scream, okay?" Mark grabbed Jack's hand as the count down started.

5

4

3

Jack felt like he couldn't breathe, holding onto Mark's hand, digging his fingernails into the soft skin.

2

He closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing, only to have it ripped from his body as the ride shot forward, loud piercing screams shot through the darkening sky.

Jack screwed his eyes shut, pushing himself further into the seat. He didn't make any noise, he was so terrified. Mark was laughing, tugging on Jack's hand.

"Hey! Jack-" Mark was about to tell him something, but Jack opened his eyes just as the cart was held up, locking in place so when you looked forward, you saw how high up you really were. Jack looked down for a second, then shooting his eyes over at Mark.

"This isn't fucking natural!" They were shot forward again, going up on the other side to look up at the sky. Being shot backwards again, and forward again, being held up longer than before. 

"Mark, this fucking thing broke didn't it? I'm going to fucking kill you! I hate this!" Mark simply laughed at Jack and how he squirmed in his seat, trying to pull Mark's hand close to his chest. 

"Would you boys like to go again? Nearly everyone left but the park doesn't close for a few more hours." The lady with the tight bun smiled, looking more at Mark. He nodded, and Jack widened his eyes. Going on the ride once more, then making their way to the highest ride in the park. 

The boys made their way to the highest ride in the small town fair. The line was short, which is he only reason they both wanted to give it try.

"When we get up to the top, stick your arms out with me, like a bird."

"Imagine I'm a bird?" Jack looked over at Mark, leaning back as the cart slowly made its way up the hill. 

"Yeah, close your eyes and pretend you're flying."

Jack stuck his arms out, like an eagle when it soared through the sky. Mark looked over at Jack, happy that he was at least pretending to have a good time. Even if he wasn't, he felt like Jack was opening up more.

The ride slowed down, coming to a stop in the shelter. The seat belts unbuckled, and the two boys walked off. Jack held a smile, a true genuine smile, on his face. His eyes glittered with happiness, and he was breathless from going so fast on the ride.

"That's the same fucking thrill I feel as I take those pills every night, or when I smoke or drink. It's the thrill of just knowing how alive you can be, and how you can practically laugh in Death's face!" Jack laughed, not realizing what he just said, or knowing how he sounded saying it. Mark stopped walking, and looked at Jack with a frown. 

"That's why you have those pills? And.." Mark reached out for Jack's arm, who stopped and looked back at Mark.

"I, uh..." Jack frowned, looking at the cotton candy stand they were heading towards. "Let's just go." Jack grabbed Mark's hand, pulling him along to the car. Jack kept his head down, and Mark didn't say anything, he shouldn't have said anything in the first place. They would have probably gotten food - even if it was fair food - and gone on a few more rides before heading home, and Jack would have gone to bed with out doing anything.

"Did you at least have fun today?" Mark asked, Jack didn't plug his phone in. He didn't do much of anything really. He got in the car and sat down, not even putting on his seat belt. 

Jack nodded, looking out the window. 

"Do you want to play music?" Mark looked over at the Irish man, despite the fact he was driving. Jack shook his head, not making any noise.

"Alright, well it's gonna be a while. You can nap if you want." Jack shook his head again.

He watched out at the trees along the road as Mark drove. He pretended like he wasn't there, sitting in the car. In his head he was somewhere else, back at the fair, dropping down in metal carts at unnatural speeds and unnatural angles. Although going over it in his head, he wished he wasn't with Mark on those rides, and he didn't have any safety straps on of any sort. He would get to the top, and just fall. "Then we die. But at least we can fly on the way down."

They were birds, but Jack felt like he had broken wings, and Mark was dragging him up higher and higher. Once he finally stopped trying to fly, and trying to stay with Mark, he would just fall faster. He would hit the ground harder and just leave a bigger splat of blood to inconvenience someone.