99 Steps

Step 22: Cry

What this time?

That's exactly what he was asking himself; he knew that's what his mom would be asking too.

He could't really help it, the tears just flowed out of his eyes and onto his pillow. He couldn't even tell you what made him cry like this. Maybe it was from thinking too much. Maybe he was over reacting about something. Maybe it was just time to cry.

Time to cry, Jack mocked his own thoughts. He thought he was getting a lot better, but deep down, he knew he wasn't. Mark threw away his needles, his blades, the rest of his alcohol, they got rid of his cigarettes, even his sleeping pills. He was smiling more often and sleeping less. He was even starting to eat more and getting a regular sleep schedule put into play.

But inside his head, he knew he was about to snap. He could almost see himself screaming until he could drink again, breaking things until he could smoke, crying until he could cut, shaking until he passed out from sleep deprivation. Everything was going down hill fast.

Mark couldn't tell though.

In Mark's head, everything was going up hill. Jack seemed to be listening to slightly happier music, he was going to sleep and waking up at regular times, he was eating at least two meals a day. He even seemed to be growing to like the way he looked, even if it gave off strong "Fuck you" vibes.

2:26 A.M.

Jack contemplated going outside, remembering how peaceful it was out there, but he decided not to.

3:17 A.M.

Jack was wiping tears off his face, and flipped his pillow over, finally calming down a little bit and thinking he could fall asleep.

4:57 A.M.

He was ready to suffocate himself.

5:30 A.M.

Mark got up and used the bathroom, quickly falling back asleep.

6:15 A.M.

Jack was holding the blanket close to his body, watching the sun as it broke over the trees. He could feel the air around him slowly getting warmer, feeling more and more tired the brighter it got.

7:02 A.M.

Jack laid back down in his bed, pretending like he was just waking up.

8:45 A.M.

Mark knocked on his door, telling him breakfast was ready. Jack ignored him, being he was nearly sleeping. Mark came in, sitting by the sleeping man on his bed.

"Hey, Jack. I made breakfast. Why don't you come up and eat?" Mark rolled him on his back, double checking that he was still breathing.

"Ijus wan ten more mins," Jack slurred sleepily into his pillow. The red haired man beside him couldn't help but chuckle.

"How do you count ten mins? Do you mean minnows? Or minions?"

"Minutes you ass." Jack sighed, sitting up. Mark smiled at him, and gave him a 'hurry up' kind of gesture.

Alone in his room once again, Jack yawned. He had only got about 20 minutes of sleep, and he wished it was more like 20 hours.

"Okay, well I'm not letting you sleep for another 10 minutes. Breakfast will be cold then." Mark stood up, pulling the blankets off Jack as he walked out if the room. "Hurry up!"

Jack just sighed, and rolled over. He hoped Mark couldn't tell he was up all night, even though he probably already knew. Jack grabbed a sweatshirt, and pulled it on over his tee shirt, being it felt cold; even if it was almost always hotter than 80 degrees out.

Mark smiled and handed him his plate, gesturing for Jack to play music, which he did. As always, he picked a song that he could relate to.

Here's where it starts, another night alone in the dark.