99 Steps

Step 45: Touch

Jack sat on the couch, watching the wall as Mark was making himself something to eat. They hadn't said anything since the car ride home, and quite honestly Jack was scared to. Maybe he shouldn't be taking Marks threat so seriously. He could just try asking him about his blow up at couples therapy earlier. If you want to get beat into the wall again. Milo wasn't here to interrupt him this time, and Lord knows that even if he 'doesn't want to', Mark wouldn't make any effort to control himself either.

Jack's eyes shot over to Mark as he sat down at the table, eating his one-person meal; which Jack wasn't invited to. He looked back to the wall, thinking about a conversation that they had a while back.

"Blair was, she was worse than you when she showed up. And she didn't stop partying when she was here either. She and Kloee threw parties like there was no tomorrow, and every few weeks they would host one at our place." Mark paused, all the memories drifting back into his head.

"One night, there was a whole bunch of people and they all got drunk, and probably high. And leading up to this point, Blair was all over me, messing with me any chance she got. She wouldn't even sleep in her own bed half the time. But that night, she was out of her mind, and... and I was drunk" His voice sounded so defeated at the last sentence.

"You were drunk?" Jack actually thought those words would ever come out of Mark's mouth.

"Yeah. Everyone was still here, it was late though, and she dragged me up stairs. She locked the bedroom door, and, well." He was hoping Jack would get the memo so he didn't have to say it himself.

"She raped you?"

"No! No, well sorta. I kept telling her to stop but after a while I just sorta gave in. I guess it isn't fair to call it rape."

"Well if you said no then it was rape. That's all there is to it."

"But I stopped saying no and went with it, that's the thing. Anyways, that's besides the point. We both passed out; well I did. I guess she got up and ran downstairs crying and throwing a fit, and she told everyone I raped her, and I abused her every night and a whole bunch of messed up shit." Jack didn't reply, not knowing what to say.

With the way Jack was being treated, it made him wonder if that was what actually happened. He felt horrible for thinking it was the other way around, or that Mark lied about something that big, but something in his gut was telling him all that was a lie.

"You said Blair raped you." Jack said, his nerves running a thousand miles an hour in all opposite directions.

Jack looked to see Mark lowering his fork, a bite of food still on it.

"I thought I said I didn't want to hear you for the rest of the day."

"Why would she do that?" Jack purposely ignored his statement.

"I told you, she was drunk and doing who knows what kinds of drugs!" Mark slammed his fists on the table, glaring at Jack.

He contiued second guessing if he should have started talking about this, of all things, but he continued on.

"You treated her like shit too, didn't you?" Jack watched Mark closely, not sure what he actually could do if he came after him. "And she wanted some kind of revenge before she took off? Or was it the other way around? After all you did say you were drunk."

"How dare you accuse me of something like that! I loved that damn girl so much, I would have done anything for her! Do you have any idea how much it tore me apart when she ran off? I never got a text or even a god damn letter! She was gone, just like that." Mark looked hurt all over again, or just from the accusation Jack made. He felt wrong and out of place. Mark loved her? He never talked about that before.

"I - I'm sorry, Mark. I didn't know, I shouldn't have said anything. I'm so sorry." He felt his throat clam up, regret stabbing him in the stomach. It made a little more sense though, Mark couldn't learn to truely love again after getting ripped out of his last relationship. He probably was just scared of Jack doing the same thing to him. "I'm sorry."

"Why don't you just fucking go to bed." Mark resumed eating like nothing happened, and Jack went down to his room. Nearly as soon as his head hit the pillow he was asleep.

Jack was in a field of tall grass standing under a lone tree. The sky was clear and blue, and the sun was beating down. A cool breeze occasionally shook the branches and sent the grass swaying. It took a few minutes for him to realize that he was swaying too, and that he wasn't even on solid ground. His feet where just inches above it. Paniced, he reached for his neck, feeling a slight pressure, along with a thick rope that lead all the way up to a branch and squeaked with each movement he made. The pressure was becoming more and more intense, but Jack definitely wasn't suffocating. He could feel each time the rope became slightly tighter, and how it slowly was crushing his neck, but he wasn't fading out of existence, he knew that for sure as he clawed at the rope with a sliver of hope for survival.

His eyes flashed open, and he tried to sit up in bed, but arms kept him down.

"Shh, shhh, it's okay baby. I'm here." Mark's soft voice sent chills down his spine, and he felt a much duller pressure on his neck. It took a few deep breaths for him to realize Mark was holding him to his chest, kissing the back of his neck softly. "You're safe, it's okay."

Jack struggled in Mark's arms, desperate to get away. "Just let go of me." He felt slightly bad for being so short and sour, but he didn't want to be this close to his boyfriend, or even in the same room as him.

"It's okay, baby boy, I got you. It's just me, calm down."

"No, it's not okay! Get out of my room!"

"Baby boy, you're -"

"Stop! Stop calling me that, god damn it! Let go of me!" Mark finally did, and he sat up a few seconds after Jack did.

"What's wrong?"

"You, you're fucking wrong. First you start yelling and second guessing something that happened a while ago, something that I wouldn't make up. Then you go and hit me again and you ignore me for the rest of the day, and now I wake up in the middle of the night and you act like you know what I was dreaming about!" Jack paused to let it sink into Mark's thick skull. "I'm fucking sick of this, Mark. You're confusing the hell out of me and you act like I'm the only one with issues. I don't know if I can't keep up with this much longer."

"We're not going through this again." Mark said, slightly shaking his head.

"Really? Out of everything I just brought up you decide to assume I'm trying to break up with you? At 4 in the morning?"

Mark looked like he was about to say something, but he looked at the ground.

"You have your class in 4 hours. Why don't you just fucking go to bed?" Jack asked in a mocking tone.

He watched as Mark looked at him, then to the pillows. He stood up and walked out of the room, sure to slam the door behind him.

Jack instantly started wondering if he was being ridiculous, or outrageously upset over nothing. No, he told himself, Mark needs to be called out when he's acting up. Right?

hello. yes, still alive I am, and also these two, and also this weird ass cringe pile of shit plot n story

anyways this was going to go a while different way but I read over it and it felt weird so I changed it