99 Steps

Step 34: Feel Free

Jack opened his eyes and shuttered in pain, his side and face seemed to pulse. He didn't feel pain in his neck until he turned to look for his phone. The beaten man closed his eyes because everything was blurry with tears of pain and betrayal.

Slowly, he pushed himself up and looked at himself in his mirror. The dried blood from his nose didn't even look like blood, and his eye was puffy and a deep shade of purple.

Jack wanted to shower but soaking in scorching water sounded more appealing, though he did consider going back to bed, which if he thought about it any longer would probably have been his choice.

Walking to the bathroom that was a little down the hall, Jack used the wall for support, his ribs feeling like they were forcing him down on the ground. He wondered for a second what Mark was going to say about it, if anything at all. He pushed his hair, which was in dire need of a trim, out of his eyes as he turned on the water to fill up the tub.

Jack winced and had to wipe the tears out of his eyes a few times as he slipped his pants off. His tee shirt; well, he nearly started screaming. Finally he lowered himself into the tub, the water warm and comforting.

Over the short period of time that Jack had lived with Mark, he had changed so much, and he forgot little things about himself. It wasn't until a few moments ago that he remembered the little black plugs in his earlobes. Now that he was doing nothing but sitting with a semi-clear mind, he actually looked at his tattoos, trying to remember his exact reasoning or meaning for each one.

He looked at the one he got to match Mark's; a bird with 'forever' underneath it. With the way Mark had been treating him, he wanted to carve the ink off his skin. He sat for a moment, staring at the tattoo emotionless, then he wondered if Mark even loved him. Maybe he just really hated him and Mark started beating him because he couldn't stand living with him anymore. Part of him agreed with himself, though another part thought that Mark did love him and he would stop acting up soon enough. Jack blinked, seeing something on the counter out of the corner of his eye. Slowly he looked over to it, seeing the hair dryer that was hardly ever used. Jack assumed that Blair had used it almost everyday, or at least whenever she would shower.

The green haired man looked back to the tattoo, then to the hot water that his body was submerged in, then back to the hair dryer. He took his bottom lip in between his teeth and furrowed his eyebrows. Jack took a deep breath and looked to the tattoo one last time. Mark loved him, and it would one be a matter of time before everything would be back to normal. Then he would be able to get better, and then he and Mark could live happily ever.

It sounded like a crazy fairy tale out of a child's book, the most unlikely thing to happen, nearly impossible, but Mark loved him. He had to keep reminding himself that, but he told himself it was the truth.

Jack found himself looking at the hairdryer again, and this time he didn't look away. Would Mark care if he found Jack's body in the bathtub? Would he do the right thing and tell his mother he committed suicide? Would he tell Kloee? Would he try to have a funeral or some kind of proper burial?

"Please don't." Jack looked to see Mark standing in the bathroom doorway, his hands stuffed in the front pockets of his jeans. He met Mark's gaze, thinking about everything he wanted to say to his boyfriend.

"I know that look, and..." Mark looked to the hairdryer, looking back to Jack. He figured from the way he was holding his arm up he was looking at his bird tattoo. Mark glanced at his own, smiling remembering the day that they got them done. "I'm sorry. For what I did, I was just caught up in my own thoughts and got mad." Mark looked to the floor, accepting the fact that Jack seemed to be giving him the silent treatment.

"I know it was wrong and foolish of me, and I totally understand if you hate me and never talk to me again." Mark looked up, seeing Jack was looking at the hair dryer again. "But there is better ways to work past this." The two stayed quiet for a minute or two, then Mark unplugged the cord, grabbing the hairdryer. "I just want you to know that I love you and if you're willing to forgive me, we can hopefully forget it ever happened and work on saving you."

Jack didn't move until he heard Mark walking up the stairs. He had taken the hair dryer with him, but unfortunately not the terrible thoughts floating through his head. Jack looked up at the ceiling, deciding to actually wash up.

It was a slow and painful process, but Jack managed to do it. After getting dressed, he made his way upstairs to the kitchen table where he sat down and looked outside. Mark stopped making himself a sandwich for a second to watch the teen at the table, and figured he should make another one.

He set a plate down for himself and one in front of Jack, who looked down at it. Jack grabbed one of the chips and took a little bite out of it before eating the whole thing and starting his sandwich.

"Is it true?" Jack asked, keeping his eyes on his lunch.

"What?"

"That you love me?"

"Of course, you don't think I'd lie to you about it. Do you?"

Jack shook his head, thinking for a minute. "Can you say it please?"

"I love you, Jack, and no matter what happens I want you to remember that."