99 Steps

Step 32: Banish Hate

Jack sat at the table, silently sipping his ice water thinking over the recent events. He hadn't even noticed that Alice and Ash arrived and started talking to Mark.

"Are you always this quiet?" Ash asked, directed at Jack but they turned their attention to Mark when he didn't react.

"Jack, Ash is talking to you." Mark nudged his boyfriend's arm, feeling slightly awkward that Jack wasn't paying attention.

"Oh, sorry. I just... zoned out I guess." The green haired man looked up to realize he was the center of attention, dropping his gaze back down.

"You do that often?" Ash fought to keep his attention, only to sigh and give up when it was clearly lost.

"No, he's not usually like this, sorry." Mark apologized, and the three continued on their conversation as they ate. Before Jack knew it, they were walking out and bidding their goodbye's. "What's up with you today?" Mark asked as he pulled the car out of its parking spot and started on the short drive home.

"Nothing." Jack replied, a little too quickly.

"Are you sure?"

"Ha, no. I'm not. I'm not okay and I'm not sure." He reached for the aux cord, plugging it into his phone quickly starting a song.

"And you expect me to let you go on with your day without talking about it?" Mark turned the radio off, his eyes burning into the side of Jack's head.

"Yeah." Jack fought himself to keep his eyes forward, feeling like he would break down the second he locked eyes with Mark. Quickly he turned the radio back on.

"Maybe we should revisit the reason why you're here. Do you remember?" Mark reached to turn off the music again so Jack didn't have a reason to act distracted.

"I know why I'm here, okay? I didn't forget; I'm a fuck up and my mom didn't want to deal with me. I didn't want to deal with myself too I guess." Jack thought about his last few months back home. "I just... needed to go. Sitting in that same room, always looking at the same spot that she," Jack closed his eyes, pausing briefly before opening them again. "Yes, I remember why."

"Don't do that."

"Don't do what?" Jack made the mistake of looking over at Mark, who met his gaze. Instantly, he remembered every little detail about what Kloee told him, and what little he remembered from the night before. Tears burned his eyes, but he clenched his jaw and refused for them to fall.

"Are you okay?" Jack didn't look away like he should have, but he didn't respond either. "Jack, I can't imagine how it must feel, but you can't be afraid to talk. Think of me as like a bag that you can stuff all of your thoughts and feelings into-"

"I just really miss her." Jack looked down, wringing his hands together in his lap.

"I can get missing people. Trust me."

"Do you ever miss Blair? Even with what she did to you?" Mark furrowed his brow, opening his mouth only to close it right away. Jack looked back to his lap, deciding not to push it.

They pulled in front of the place they called home, the two walking inside. Jack naturally went down to his room, and Mark followed instead of going upstairs. Jack pulled off his shirt and changed into a tee shirt and sweatpants before climbing under his covers, looking over to where his boyfriend stood in the door way. He briefly panicked at the thought of Mark seeing the bruises and scratches.

"You're going to bed?" Mark grinned, seeing the camera he bought sitting on the desk with the batteries next to it.

"No. Well, I'm laying down but I won't fall asleep for a while." Jack watched as Mark shut the door behind him and picked the batteries up. "They're dead. I was going to change them, I guess I just didn't get to it. The other ones are in the drawer."

Mark grabbed new batteries before putting them into the camera and turning it on. Jack had the blanket up to his chin, laying on his side. Mark turned around, changing a setting on the camera before quickly taking Jack's picture. The red head smiled at the picture, then he set the camera down and pulled off his shirt and jeans, grabbing the machine before climbing behind Jack, holding the camera so they could both look at all the pictures.

Jack had to admit, he hated the picture that was just taken, but he couldn't delete it. He felt like Mark would get mad about it.

The next one was of Mark, he sat in the driver seat of the car driving, paying attention to the road. Jack never really showed him the picture, and he never figured out if Mark knew that it was taken. Mark kissed the back of Jack's neck. "You're too nice, you know?"

The next picture was the balloons that they let go into the sky when they were at the fair. Of course, the next one was Mark playing with the little girl they met. "Remember how happy she was about that?" Mark asked.

Jack nodded, smiling when he remembered the nicknames she gave the two.

"I wish you were always that happy." Jack stopped, and looked over his shoulder at Mark.

"Do you, now? Does that mean you don't like me now?"

"Of course, I love you so much, I just wish you didn't have to deal with your own thoughts. I hate watching you struggle with them." The green haired man smiled, happy with the response Mark gave to his teasing.

Jack decided to be bold and plant a light kiss on Mark's lips. It took him a second to process what happened, but he quickly pulled Jack's face back to his and connected their lips. It wasn't everything Jack had imagined it to be, but he didn't really ever think it would be a thing.

Hello it is I no I'm not dead also sorry it's been so long but school has been a bitch, and I got my industrial done  (that's the bar in your ear) also I'm 15 now how sick is that

Also sorry that this story is like super weird and awkwardly paced and cringy like I went back to read some and it's just yikes