Lost in love - HunHan

Chapter 12

Sehun P.O.V.

Luhan had really left us. Luhan had disappeared. And he would never come back. At least, not if we wouldn't try to get him back. And god, I wanted to jump on the next airplane to China so bad and tell him how much I love him. But that wouldn't end well, I'm sure he won't listen to me. He was so convinced that leaving was the best option, the best solution to his problem. Suho turned on the radio and the tears only increased when I heard Missing You by 2NE1 playing on the radio. Kris quickly changed to another station, but that didn't help. I Need U by BTS was playing, it was like whole world knew what happened. In the end they just turned off the radio. Probably because they didn't want to make me even sadder by listening to those songs. Both songs explained what I was feeling right now, and they only made me more sad than I already was. I clutched my arm around Baekhyuns legs, while I removed the tears on my face with the other hand. Why didn't I stop him? Why didn't I wake up earlier? Why didn't all of us wake up earlier? I bit my lip and tried to stop the sobs. 'How are we going to tell the fans?' I heard Chanyeol ask in silence. 'I don't know. First of all, we need to talk to the other members and our manager. Then we'll decide how we are going to do this.' Suho said. I sat up straight and looked at the others. Chanyeol nodded in response, but Baekhyun was still in doubt. 'I don't know if I can...' I mumbled, while looking at my fingers. 'I don't want to break down in front of the fans.' Chanyeol patted my shoulder. 'That is fine, Sehun-ah, we will do it if you don't want to. We understand. Others will probably feel the same.' I looked at the others and nodded. 'We will probably announce it during a press conference, once they notice that Luhan isn't performing at our concerts. Fans will notice that he is gone. They always notice when someone isn't with us.' I looked at Kris, he was right. Fans always notice something like that, we can't keep something like Luhan leaving a secret for long. I sighed and let all of this sink in. I just could not get used to the fact that I would never hear Luhans laugh in person anymore. I still had the feeling he would walk in any moment and tell us this was all one big joke, but I know it wouldn't be like that. This wasn't a joke, it was real. Luhan was gone and he wouldn't come back. Never

Once we were back in the bus, I walked straight to the sleeping area. I removed my shoes and crawled under the blankets. I heard how the rest of EXO came inside. I heard some scream in disbelieve. I heard some cry, probably Baekhyun again. He may always seem happy, but he is one of the most emotional boys I know. I was happy that they would tell the fans and I could sit out on that. I was one hundred precent certain I would break down in front of the fans and that wouldn't be good for our image. I took my phone from my pocket and unlocked it. I looked at my contacts, looking for Luhan. I didn't have to look far, since his name was at the top. I dialed his number and listened. Almost immediately, a computer voice told me that the phone number I dialed was out of use. I tried to stop my tears, it seemed like this couldn't get any worse. This made it all that much more horrible, really. I really have to get used to the idea of never seeing him again. Only when we would be visiting China for concerts of fan meetings and we have enough time to go to his house. Only problem, I don't know where that is since I've never been there. To be sure, I dialed his number again. The only this I heard was the same voice, telling me the same thing. I threw my phone away in a flash of anger. A few sobs left my mouth before I rolled myself into a ball.

'Sehunnie?' I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and saw Baekhyun standing in front of my bed, his eyes red and puffy. 'Are you sure you don't want to come sit with us.' I nodded and put the blankets over my head. 'All right, just know that we'll be here if you need us.' I felt his lips on my forehead and I smiled lightly. I heard how he went back to the front, probably to Chanyeol. I heard them talk faintly, but I didn't want to hear it. To be honest, I don't want to hear ever again. I don't want to do anything as long as Luhan isn't here with me. How was I going to live without the one making me happy?

I didn't notice I fell asleep, when I felt someone shaking my body to wake me up. I looked in the eyes of Chanyeol, which reminded me of Luhans. I rubbed my eyes. 'You were sleeping so peacefully, so we let you. You probably won't be getting much sleep the next few days, which is understandable.' Chanyeol bit his lip and motioned to move a bit to the side so he could sit next to me. It was kind of awkward actually, which was strange. It was never awkward with Chanyeol. 'Will you come to the front for a moment? The rest is also there.' I nodded, knowing he wouldn't take no for an answer. We climbed out of bed and went to the front. The other nine members looked at us when we entered. I didn't want to look at anyone so I just looked at my hands once I sat down on the couch. 'Sehun-ah, we told our manager. He called Kim Young-min and a press conference has been held half an hour later. They told that Luhan had left and we would be continuing as an eleven member group from now on. At first fans thought it was a joke...' A sarcastic laugh left my mouth, if only this all would be a joke. 'Luhan tweeted a sorry and they seem to believe everything now.' I felt how my cheeks got wet from new tears. I wanted to run back and grab my phone to call him again, but he could have used a computer to tweet that. 'Everybody is heartbroken, all the fans are as well as us. At times like these you notice how much he was loved.' Tears just kept streaming. I heard a few sobs and saw that Baekhyun, Tao, Chen and Xiumin were also crying. The other members comforted us, trying to make us stop crying. It was going to be hard, very hard. But as long as the rest of us stay together, we would get through it. I'm sure of it.