Lost in love - HunHan

Chapter O6

Luhan P.O.V.

I woke up the next morning by a small ray of sunlight that shone directly in my eyes. I sighed and sat right up before closing the curtains. I went to lay back down, but couldn't sleep. I rolled my eyes when I heard kissing sounds, Chanyeol and Baekhyun. Even though they were at the other side of the bus, I could still hear them. I put my arm over my eyes and tried to think about something, in which I didn't succeed. I just wanted to go away. This bunkbed was crap, the moving of the bus made me sick and Chanyeol and Baekhyun were to loud. The others were still sleeping, I was sure of it. That's the reason Chanyeol and Baekhyun didn't bother to be quiet. I opened the curtain a bit and saw Sehun, still sleeping peacefully. His hair was a complete mess and his mouth slightly opened. I rubbed my eyes before I pushed myself up and got out of my bunk. I needed a hot shower and a hug. Finally I chose that I wanted the hug more than the hot shower at this moment and crawled into Sehuns bunk without shame. The boy mumbled something in his sleep, moved a bit and a moment later I felt his arms around my waist. I tensed up and hold my breath, hoping I didn't wake him up. I smiled, happy with Sehuns arms around my body and closed my eyes. I noticed that I was very comfortable in his arms and also noticed how tired I was at this moment. Fighting my sleep, I tried to stay away, knowing it was a hopeless battle which I lost a few seconds later and eventually I felt into a peaceful sleep.

'Hyung, Luhan.' I slowly opened my eyes and looked right into Sehuns beautiful eyes. 'Good morning.' I mumbled, while closing my eyes again. I could still hear kissing sounds from the back. 'They're still not finished, aren't they?' Sehun clearly noticed, I just nodded. 'Do you feel any better?' I shrugged. 'I'm fine, but I'll be better if we can stay like this.' I saw a hint of red on his cheeks and wondered if we weren't to couple like at the moment. But he didn't really mind because he slips his arms around my waist and I could feel his breath in my neck. 'Like this?' he whispered, while yawning and I smiled. Sehun was so cute when he was sleepy. I hummed quietly and noticed how he went back to sleep. Which wasn't weird, he must be as tired as any of us. Which is why I don't understand where Baekhyun and Chanyeol get the energy from. I looked at the boy who made small sound while sleeping, I sniffed and tried not to cry again. It wasn't good that Sehun had seen me cry last night, so I wouldn't let that happen a second time. Every time we finished a concert I felt a knot in my stomach, like it shouldn't be that way, like I don't belong their. Every time we had a concert, the knot became stronger, and I'm starting to give in to it. I don't believe any longer that it is because I miss my family so much, I knew very well what was happening. I'm building walls around me, not letting the fans in anymore, and maybe in time I won't let Sehun in either. I didn't want that to happen, I didn't want to put him true that. I sighed and Sehun made a small sound, but that was it. Still sleeping 'What would you do if I'd leave, Sehunnie?' I mumbled to the sleeping boy in my arms. We wouldn't hear me. 'Would you go looking for me? Would you miss me?' I bit my lip and felt the tears forming in my eyes. I rubbed them away with my free hand and snuggled closer to Sehun. 'I would miss you very much.' I pressed my lips against his forehead. The sounds at the back had finally stopped, which made me happy. Sometimes I would say something to the boy next to me, but most of the time I just stared into nothing. We are free until tonight, when we would have another concert. So I could stay in bed with Sehun the entire day. His warm body against mine, his hand on my waist. He probably doesn't even notice because he's still sleeping. I was sure that I would miss Sehun the most out of everyone. I would miss him so much that my heart would probably hurt, but I couldn't live like this, can I? My mum always said to me: Life the live that makes you happy. But I don't feel happy, I haven't felt happy for a long time. But sometimes, I do feel happy. That is when I'm with Sehun.

A sound next to me made me look in his direction and a few seconds later, Sehun opened his eyes. He smiled at me, still sleepy. 'They finally stopped?' he mumbled and I chuckled. 'You've got good hearing Sehunnie.' He also chuckled and I felt his grip getting stronger. 'Promise me you'll never leave me hyung.' I swallowed hard and felt my body stiffen. Did he hear what I told him? I shook my head, that was impossible. 'I promise Sehun.' I felt a great pain in my chest when I promised him that. I knew I was going to break that promise. I'd already decided that I was gonna leave.