Love Letters to the Possibly Broken and the Strangely Unforgotten

January 10, 2016

#20 January 10, 2016

Dear Empty Promises,

So I'm going out with Ryan today after school, and I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I mean his puppy brown eyes and shaggy hair is adorable, but I think I just need to know him better. I came to the realization that he is totally my type in almost every way and I'm sort of scared that you're slipping away from me. We still talk, even more than before, actually, and I keep finding out more and more about you, but I'm less intrigued. Maybe it's simply because I know more about you. You're less mysterious. You have two cats, Simon and Yoda, and a dog named Hunter. You love science. You just want to change the world. You want to be somebody. You're afraid of being alone. You see what I mean? The magic just isn't there anymore. You broke up with Lorde a couple days ago. You called me crying. I wasn't really sure what to think or what to feel; it just happened. I think you will date Maddie soon. I mean she's with Finn, but that doesn't bother you, does it? I have found I might not like you so much as a person anymore. You are just like everyone else. You are just like me. We are the same sad, wistful person, and that scares me. I think that it's time to be done. I am so sorry that I have spent the last four months pinning after you. Maybe it's time to be over. I'm sorry that these letters have just been a long list of empty promises, but this will not go anywhere, and maybe it's time to let it go. That's how it goes with crushes, right? It never becomes anything, so then it just fades away into nothing, just like everything else. I'll let you know how the date with Ryan goes, but I'm not expecting it to be great. Maybe I just need to take some time to invest in myself and not chase other people like I have all my life. I'm so sorry if you were ever invested. I'm so sorry if I hurt you somehow in this. I'm so sorry.

Love,
The Girl who Needs Nothing More