Let Me Be Your Hero

Chapter Seventeen : I Forgive You

Jonathan:

I have never in my life been as torn as I am now.

I don't know how to process this information that she's given me, I really don't. Whether it's because it hasn't fully sunk in or due to the fact that I have no clue as to what my reaction should be, I don't know.

She's the light in my eyes and the spring in my step. She's the only one that has ever made me want to pick up my act and man up to be what she wants me to be. So, as I look down at the disheveled girl sobbing weakly into her arms I can't help but feel the constraint in my chest.

My initial thoughts were how she was to blame, how she killed my only idol as a kid. But, then I remembered who I was talking to and I calmed myself down enough to let her explain. The explanation only made me angrier than I was to commence with!

I was livid to say the least. I mean, why on earth would my brother have done that?! He screwed up the life of the one girl who least deserved it. And for what? A game. That's all anything ever was to Allen. Regardless, I'm still hurt that my brother had to pay the price even though it sounds like it may have been his fault.

"Calm down, Mels. You'll be fine." I whispered, trying to convince myself more than I was her. The sobbing ceased for a split second before her wails became even louder. Does it make me a bad person for feeling sorry for her?

"Y-y-y-you d-d-don-n't m-mean it!" She accused in between cries. I flinched at the deep and utter pain laced through her wobbly splutter.

"I do mean it." I countered, trying my best not to break down and cry along with her. A few strands of her soft hair were in disarray, and I fought the urge to fix it for her.

"LEAVE!" She screamed at me after a few more droplets escaped her bloodshot eyes.

"No." I asserted. Now that all this happened there is nothing in this universe that will make me pull away. I have to stay and be strong for her, to make sure she doesn't go into hysterics (even though she's almost already there.)

"Why? Why do you want to see me in misery when you decide to leave? If you stay it'll be worse!" She yelled as soon as she sobered up a little.

"I'm not leaving." I shook my head.

"Wh-why?" She stammered, rubbing her puffy eyes.

"Why would I leave you, Lani?" I grabbed her hands in mine. "I've been waiting for that kiss almost half my life." I brushed that stubborn strand that I didn't deal with before.

"But... Allen..." She let the name linger in the air as if a bad word had been spoken. I won't sit here and tell you how I blindly forgot about what happened, because I didn't. Her words are recorded and saved to the hard drive of my brain. I was so confused and broken, I did what I usually do in times of sorrow.

I go on as if nothing happened and push the problem for later.

Slowly I brushed my fingers on the smooth skin of her chin right before cupping it ever so gently and tilting it so she would face me--only me. Her eyes pleaded with me not to, and I became increasingly aware that we were both still in only our underwear.

The sensation when I let my lips finally attach themselves to hers was just as beautifully indescribable as the first. Her lips tasted a bit salty from the tears that had fallen, but I didn't care. Anything on her always managed to come out better than how it started. I'm hooked.

I don't want to think about anything she's told me. I don't want any more pain. Later I can think about all the information, but for right now I'll enjoy what I've been deprived of all these years. I'm not completely sure I can forgive her yet, but right now I know that I love her.