Let Me Be Your Hero

Chapter Twenty-One : Purpose

I blinked my eyes, wondering where the sudden blurriness came from. Each move my eyelids made were quite frantic, trying desperately to remove the foreign substance from my eyeballs. I could make out only shapes with each motion.

There was a dark figure crouching over me with brightness all around them. It was such magnificent regardless of the fact that it was a only a figure. It was almost heavenly.

"Are you okay?" The voice above me asked solicitously. Now that I think about it, it sounds awfully familiar... I pondered on the thought, feeling chills from being drenched in water.

I coughed in response and blinked one last time before I could fully see for a few seconds. The sight before me shocked me into a risky gasp. I didn't even have enough air in my system to be gasping!

There before my very eyes was none other than Jonathan himself! I'd recognize the hazel shade of his eyes anywhere. But, something was off...this wasn't him him. It was as if it was a memory of him. A memory from when we were children still. This wasn't reality though, because last I checked Jon was older, so this must be a dream.

And, the minute my head heavily fell back on the pavement my guess became the truth. I had dreamt it. This was a dream. But not just any dream, it was a memory. I was dreaming of that dim memory years ago that always held residence in the back of my head.

Jonathan had saved me. Not Julian. Jonathan. All these years I had it in my mind that Julian was the one who came to the rescue when it was my very own best friend all along. Boy, did I screw up.

I shook my head frantically, attempting to wake from my slumber. You could say it worked, but I ended up regretting it in the end. I instantly jumped up at the feel of something on my forearm, it had felt weird.

"Are you ok?" A gentle voice asked, concern added to their tone.

"Fabulous." I muttered sarcastically while holding onto my aching head with my uninjured arm. I'm not going to lie, I felt like I had just been run over by three delivery trucks with an added hangover. That terrible.

"Your humor's intact, I see." Jon commented with amusement. I couldn't help but smile at the sound of his voice to my ears. However, the simple action had me straining.

"Hey." I muttered, no strength obvious by my tone. I don't even want to know the gist of all the trouble I've caused him by my little trip to that cliff. I shuddered at the memory. I'm fortunate to be alive to tell the tale.

"You got yourself into quite a dilemma I see." He bent down so he could be on the same eye level as me. "What are we going to do with you?"

I didn't pay attention to the rhetorical question he asked. Instead I analyzed him. Piece by piece the puzzle slowly started to come together. Why hadn't he told me?

I clearly recall all the moments he would vaguely insinuate things relating to that night, like that one time in middle school, but he never said a thing and I didn't know to ask. Did he really not want me to know that badly? Did I...disappoint him in some way?

"Why?" The word slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it.

"Why what?" He skeptically wondered, tilting his head to the side.

"Why didn't you ever tell me you were the one to save me from drowning all those years ago?" My voice was accusatory, and I didn't regret making it sound like that. He knew all this time how much it killed me not to know who helped me that night, and he even watched on as I yearned for someone else simply because of the delusional idea that he was the 'one.'

"This isn't a conversation we should be having right now. You are heavily hurt, and I will not let you utter another word until you are feeling better." He frowned down at me. I pouted, but complied knowing full well that I'll get everything out of him in due time.

"How's she holding up, Jonathan?" Ashton peeked in the hospital room to ask. Ashton looked like a mess. His clothes were all wrinkled, his hair messy, and his eyes looked like he hadn't slept in days.

"She just needs rest." Jonathan got up from the chair beside me. He looked just as messy as Ashton.

I immediately tried to get up to stop him, but all the tubes and the ache all over my body put me back down. "Please..." I mumbled like a hopeless child. "Don't go yet."

He gave me a sad smile and shook his head. "I saw to it that you were okay. I have nothing else to do here."

The words hit me harder than the three trucks and hangover feeling ever could. It slapped me so hard I almost slipped back into my coma. I'm not even exaggerating. It hurt.

"Don't worry, Melanie. I'll hang around until you can come home." Ashton took the chair that Jonathan had previously occupied, but the kind gesture on behalf of my older brother did nothing to console my shattered heart.

I knew why he had left the way he did, but I wanted so hard to believe it wasn't. I wanted to believe that he was just upset I had wandered off and gotten in trouble without letting him know, but that's not the case. He left because he hates me. He left because I still have my older brother and he doesn't.

"Thank you, Ashton."

He nodded his head and pulled out his phone, intently messaging someone on it. All I could do was feel pain and hold back tears. I'm as broken as I'll ever be and the one man who could ever patch me back up just walked out on me.

"Melanie! You're awake!" Melina rushed in with two cups of coffee on hand. The smell was nauseating, I just wanted to go back to sleep. I nodded in acknowledgment, not having any more strength to talk.

"You had us all so worried! When the doc said there was no telling when you would come out of your coma because of your head injuries we all lost it!" She continued on, handing a cup of coffee to Ashton and plopping down on a sofa near the wall in front of me.

I almost laughed at what was before me. The two people I thought that hated me most in this world are here, supporting me. I really do have a lot of maturing to do. Melina and Ashton stayed right by my side all night as promised, but even that didn't make me feel any better.

When morning came, both Ashton and Melina had left to go back home to freshen up. I insisted they go because the nurses would tend to me and I really had no extra energy to put up false pretenses with them. It's hard to cry when there are others around. At least with them gone I can weep all I want without anyone to tell me to stop.

I remained hospitalized for a week after the accident. In between my family members coming in to stay with me I cried out in frustration each alone time I got. It was the highlight of my day, as pathetic as it sounds. But, it was the only thing I could do to keep myself sane. All the frustration in my being could not be contained. Everything happened tediously and I watched on behind a blurry film. I made a really quick recovery considering all the damage I had caused my body, but the doctor said I could go home so long as I rested plenty. 

I hadn't heard from Jonathan and his family since the day I woke up. Jonathan's absence left me with bitter loneliness I had not felt in so long. Without him there was nothing to look forward to. Without him there was nothing to do, nothing to think about. Without him there was nothing but tears and blurry faces. I started feeling like my existence had no purpose. I did the worst thing anyone could do—let someone else define my purpose.