Let Me Be Your Hero

Chapter Twenty : Cliff

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

The long thin hand of the small clock in the corner--that Jon had left lying around--moved along with each corresponding tick or tock. It moved slowly, sluggishly even. It mocked me.

I was sitting alone in the middle of the tent with my legs crossed underneath me. I felt the tangles in my chestnut hair with one hand, and I tried to hold the flimsy orange top in place so that the long tear running down the sides wouldn't cause it to give out

I could just stand up and change. I could improve my condition and act like nothing ever happened. I am just so tired. I don't want to do anything. I had a cut running down half my arm and I knew the open wound would get infected if I didn't get it treated soon, yet I didn't care. Not one bit.

I felt the pain exiting my body with the rich red blood. Streams ran down my pale arms, each meandering slightly. The numbness began to set in slowly now. This sensation wasn't new to me; I had felt it way too many times this lifetime. It was a premonition of sorts. A warning of what is to come. The light-headed feeling added with the pounding of my injured arm and leg tells me what's going to become of me.

I abruptly stopped trying to untangle my untamed hair. With slow brisk movements, I brushed the pads of my fingers against my throbbing temple. The other hand soon followed the second on my other temple and I felt a shallow breeze on my left breast where my shirt had fallen.

With each pound I would rub in harder and harder, hoping to stop it. The worst part is I couldn't feel the pain anymore. It was just an annoying throb that wouldn't cease. A swirl of warmth overtook the area I had rubbed vigorously. My frail hands dropped to my sides upon sensing this. I wouldn't fight it anymore. I couldn't fight it anymore.

I had held everything I loved just mere hours ago. I had been the happiest woman just a day before. Now here I was; cold, alone, and on the brink of death. I hate it how I'm not completely unfamiliar to this. I hate it how I don't have it in me to fight for life at the moment when I need to the most.

My head fell to the floor of the tent and I didn't try to pick it back up. Curled up in a fetal position I uttered a raspy "thank you" to the heavens above for at least granting me life as long as they did. It was a symbolic way to say goodbye to the world, a cheesy one might I add, but sincere from my heart.

Soon after what felt like hours the lights became blurry and I was one hundred percent numb, from head to toe. No more painful throbbing of my arm, my leg, or my heart. No more bitter memories of my brother, my sister, my family. No more Jonathan, who could repair my heart, but just as easily shatter it again. And, no more need to save clueless Melanie again.

I was sick of being the damsel in distress, sick of not being my own superman. For a split second I was glad this happened, but just a split second. My senses were closing up, just like that time in the pool. My heart's hammer became strong before fading into a slow tempo, just like in the lake earlier today.

However, despite my closing senses I could swear I heard voices. They weren't very clear, but they were there. Still, I let whatever was going to happen, happen.

I succumbed to the darkness, briefly recalling what had led me to this.

***

8 hours ago

I was determined to find Jon, determined to have one of those mind-blowing kisses. I almost skipped all the way to the lake. I had readjusted my orange top and ran a hand through my hair before entering the path Jon had showed me previously. Leaves would crunch underneath each of my light footsteps, and I could feel a pleasant breeze blowing on the back of my neck.