Within My Mind I Suffer

Going Home

Fawn POV

I looked over at my window and the sun was just starting to rise. I hadn't slept well last night because I kept having bad dreams. The worst of them all was when Alex was walking away and I couldn't do anything to stop him. I was only a few inches behind him, but no matter how loud I screamed, he couldn't hear me. At one point, I couldn't even move, but when I could, I ran after him and grabbed his hand, but right as I did, he disappeared. As if that wasn't bad enough, Ellie's words were repeated over and over again throughout the dream.

Though, what upset me even more was that they were the same words that Dr. Silvius said to me when I got moved here. Back then, I was positive that they were lies, especially after Alex came to find me. I guess they were both true and false at the same time, only the true part would come later on...

As I kept musing over the situation, a knock on the door made me jump. Hoping that it was Alex, I ran up to the door, my heart racing. I was disappointed when Dr. Silvius came in. 

"Oh, hello." I muttered, my face dropping.

"You don't seem too happy to see me." Dr. Silvius said. 

"It's not only that..." I bitterly replied.

He narrowed his eyes at me for a few seconds and then turned his gaze to his clipboard. 

He cleared his throat before beginning. "Well, in my professional opinion, I think it is safe to let you go-"

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" I exclaimed happily.

"Let me finish!" Dr. Silvius yelled, giving me an irritated look. " School is starting soon, and I think you should go instead of staying in here all day. For the first few months, you will come back here to be assessed every other week. Then, depending on what I think, you will either be re-hospitalized, or you'll be cleared and you can go back to a normal life."

"That's awesome! When do I leave?" I asked, trying with all my might not to jump up and down.

"Tomorrow morning. School starts Monday." He responded, heading back out the door but then stopping to hold open the door for Ellie. 

Ellie set my breakfast down and as soon as she did, I bear hugged her and screamed with delight that I was going home.

Ellie hugged me back and congratulated me.

"Thanks! I'm so excited! I leave this Friday!!" I exclaimed but then I downcast eyes. "I won't be able to fix things with Alex..." I whispered sadly.

Ellie patted my back. "I'm sorry that it had to end this way."

I grimaced. "You were right Ellie. About everything. I hoped that I would be able to change things, to show him that I did care. I wanted to fix things, but I guess I'm too late now."

"It's okay Ms, things will get better. You know, nothing happens without a reason."

I smiled. "I appreciate that you're trying to cheer me up, but I think that this chapter of my life has come to an end. And like all chapters in life, you leave the past behind."

Ellie smiled from ear to ear and her eyes glinted with mischief. "That's the spirit Ms. By saying that you leave the past behind with each new chapter, you're already changing. I'm proud of you. But about this situation...don't be so sure of that."

I stiffened because it was the same look Alex had when he was about to do something crazy or was about to meddle with things.

"Come on Ms, let's pack your bags."

"Alright." I said happily, trying to put aside the uneasy feeling that Ellie's expression gave me.

~*~

Morning finally came and I stood in front of the door leading to the waiting room. I took a deep breath and pushed open the doors. I didn't take even two steps before I found myself in a death hug, getting twirled around.

"Mom! Please stop!" I yelled. I was more than overjoyed to see her again, but I was beginning to feel nauseated.

"Oh, sorry honey." She apologized, putting me down. 

I smiled widely and threw my arms around her. "I missed you so much and I'm sorry for everything. It was stupid of me to do that." I murmured into her hair. 

"I missed you too sweetie. And it's okay. Everything will be alright." She said soothingly, stroking my hair. "Promise that from here on, you will talk to me about any problem you're have?" She pulled back to look me in the eyes.

I didn't avoid her gaze. "I will." I promised.

"Good." She said, smiling widely at me. "Ergh, I missed you so much! I wanted to come and see you while you were in there, but no matter what I did or said, they wouldn't let me in. I even went as far as to bribe the lady at the front desk but she threatened to call the guards on me if I didn't leave." 

I laughed. This was my crazy mom. Even after all that has happened to her, she still managed to smile, and that is what I appreciated about her most.

"Come on. I doubt you want to stay here any longer. And even though I sent you here, I didn't think this place would be so creepy." She said, looking around in disgust and then pausing to glare at the lady at the front desk. The lady looked up at her for a few seconds and then turned her attention back to the paper she was reading. Mom continued to glare at her and the lady kept looking back and forth between my mom and the paper, shuffling around uneasily. In the end she left, her face clearly showing that she was irritated. 

I snickered. "Feel better?" 

"Very." She replied. "Now come on, I made your favorite meal!" 

"Yum..." I said unenthusiastically. 

Mom glared at me. "I didn't burn it. And even if I did, you would still have to eat it because you need your strength for tomorrow morning. I mean, you are starting school, and a granola bar in the morning isn't going to last you very long."

I slightly nodded my head, now fully realizing I was going back to school. 

My mom lifted my face up. "Don't stress too much about it. Everything will be okay. You and Elizabeth have almost every class together."

I nodded again, feeling a little bit better. I tried to lock away the feeling of dread and focus on spending the rest of the day with my mom. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hey guys, thank you so much for reading my story, I appreciate it so much. :) I'm sorry this chapter is short. I just came back from a very long flight and I am exhausted. But I wanted to write a chapter before I became a snorlax for the next three days. xD So, enjoy!! :)