Within My Mind I Suffer

Friends and Foes

Fawn POV

We arrived hours ago from the park, sneaking in and managing to fool the guards yet again about why we came so late.

Alex came in the room with me and the air was thick with awkwardness. I fiddled with my hands behind my back and stared at the ground.

"Umm... thanks for today." I mumbled at the floor.

He softly chuckled. "No problem. I'm glad you had fun." He lifted my head up. "I finally got to see your real smile." He said, widely grinning and looking me in the eyes.

I blushed and adverted his gaze. He dropped his hands by his sides and clutched and unclutched them. He obviously wanted to say something.

"Just tell me." I said, giving him a nod to continue.

"Okay, it might be a bit too soon, but um..." He stopped as he tried to find the right words.

"But?" I asked, curious as to what caused him, of all people, to get so flustered and at a loss of words.

"Well... after what happened at the dance event... would that make us..." He raised his arm and scratched the back of his head. "a couple?" He asked awkwardly, looking at me.

I stiffened. "Um... I don't know really... I mean, I don't even know how I feel about you!" I said, motioning towards him. "I mean sure, we kissed, but still! This whole situation is weird!" I yelled in frustration, throwing my hands in the air and then wrapping them around myself as I turned around.

I felt hands grab me and the next thing I knew, my skin began to prickle from the coldness of the wall. One of Alex's hands was pressed against the wall next to me. The other cupped my cheek and he leaned in close, never breaking eye contact.

His lips were mere centimeters from mine. 

He kept leaning in and his eyes flicked down to my lips longingly before returning to my eyes. My breathing hitched and I pushed myself as much as I could against the wall. I wanted him. I wanted him now. I was just nervous. The butterflies in my stomach were let loose and they fluttered around mercilessly. He kept leaning in and I closed my eyes.

After a second or two of waiting for that electric shock that our lips created when they met, my anticipation began to painfully rise. I began to slightly lean forward hoping to close that small gap between us. But the gap was never closed and the shock never came. I opened my eyes and found Alex had backed up a little. He smirked down at me.

"Now you know." He said, winking at me. "You should get some rest." He said nonchalantly, walking towards the door, waving behind him.

I stood there, gaping after him in surprise. "What the hell just happened?" I whispered to myself. I backed up until I felt the edge of my bed and then I just let myself fall. I stared at the ceiling and replayed the moments from the dance and the moment from just now. "And now you know.." I slowly whispered, remembering what Alex had said. I blushed when I remembered how I reacted, leaning in like that. What came over me? And what are we now exactly? Oh God... how am I supposed to act tomorrow? I covered my face and rolled into my pillow. 

~*~

 I felt a hand smooth away my hair from my face and a voice gently say, "Fawn, wake up honey. It's time to eat breakfast." 

I mumbled a no and rolled over. 

Whoever it was, was persistent as she went to the other side of the bed and did the same thing, this time a little more forcefully. 

I opened an eye. "What is it Ellie? I'm not hungry right now." 

"Miss, I really suggest that you eat your breakfast." She said, giving me a hard yet meaningful look.