Those Who Trust (Phan)

Part 24

"And after that he left. I haven't seen him this morning. When I left for work, he was still in his room." Phil spun around in his office chair, voice hushed and ignoring the glares some of his coworkers sent his way because he had been on the phone for at least ten minutes now.

"I don't think he's at uni today since he cancelled our lunch date, and I don't know his schedule so I can't check on him either." PJ said apologetically.

Phil sighed. "I just hope he doesn't decide to hide away in his room again."

"Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. This entire story is so weird, considering how much better Dan seemed recently. Are you sure you didn't just dream it?"

"I'm certain that the fingernail scratches on my chest aren't just a figment of my imagination," Phil deadpanned. "I just don't understand where his sudden idea came from that I wouldn't want to wait for him to be ready for more. He didn't show the slightest inclination to get physical with me before yesterday. Quite the opposite actually, only a few days ago he was pissed at me because he thought I did not respect that he wasn't ready yet."

"It sounds like his brain short-circuited. I'm quite impressed that he managed to get to your room in the middle of the night in the first place."

"I'm more worried than impressed about that. How will I ever know he's actually ready for something and not just pushing himself because he thinks he has to get over it? I can't tell if he's just nervous or scared when he's shaking, and I don't think I can trust his words either."

Phil ran a hand through his hair. One of his coworkers approached him and tapped with his finger against his wrist as a reminder, nodding his head in the direction of a meeting room. Phil gave him a thumbs up to show that he understood.

"He pushed you off though. I think that's a telltale sign."

"That doesn't help me figure out if he's comfortable with what we're doing in the first place. Listen, I have a meeting now. Let me know if you hear anything from Dan, okay?"

He barely listened anymore to whatever PJ answered, and once the connection cut off, he sighed while getting out of his chair and rolled his shoulders, a cracking sound making his colleague wince.

"Everything okay?" he asked as he watched Phil gather a few documents needed for the meeting.

Phil shrugged his shoulders. "Not really, but whatever. I have enough time to worry about it after this meeting is over."

___


The moment Dan heard the front door open, he wanted to run to his room. Call it instinct. Call it sense of self-preservation. Or maybe just the feeling of embarrassment Dan felt at the thought of what had transpired between Phil and him the previous night. But he locked his muscles and willed himself to stay where he was, on one of the coloured chairs around their dining table that was faced towards the hallway.

It took one minute and twenty-three seconds for Phil to come into the lounge, Dan counted every single one of them, and the moment he saw Dan, his face lit up. Dan wasn't sure what to make of that. Why would Phil be smiling about seeing him? Had he forgotten what had happened last night? Surely not.

"Hey, how are you?"

Phil sounded so compassionate that Dan felt the urge to grab the vase that stood on the table next to him and smash it against the nearest wall. Phil had every reason to be seething, why wasn't he mad?

Dan shrugged his shoulders, and he couldn't find it in himself to meet Phil's eyes. Instead he regarded the texture of the wooden tabletop, hyper-aware of the steps Phil took further into the lounge from the doorframe, in his direction.