Those Who Trust (Phan)

Part 35

Hello friends. Sorry it's been so long. This chapter is unbeta'd but it's been so long since I last updated that I thought it's about time. So sorry for the mistakes. And thank you for all your lovely comments. Hope you enjoy. :) x

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"Dan," Phil muttered after he had parked the car, worry clouding his features as he looked at the building looming in front of them, "why are we at a prison?"

Dan didn't answer him. There was no need for that. Surely Phil was smart enough to figure out by himself why they were here.

"Dan, no."

Licking his lips, Dan stopped looking at the threatening looking building in front of them and turned to Phil instead.

"You can't stop me."

"I can try."

The serious look on his face told Dan that Phil wasn't joking about this, that he was serious when he said he'd stop Dan if he needed to. Dan wasn't joking about this either.

"I've made the arrangement to come here a while ago. If I wanted to cancel this scheduled visit, I'd have to have done that already."

"I'll personally walk inside and tell them you're not coming."

Glancing at the digital clock on the dashboard, Dan knew that it was time to go and face his demons. And although Phil told him no, Dan would be damned to listen to him. He'd been trained in the past to listen, and Phil had been the one to slowly help him overcome his fear of not obeying. Yet most of the time Dan had not spoken against Phil, the remains of the terror of what could happen if he did so were still ingrained inside him. Although Phil had broken that wall down one by one, Dan had never entirely allowed for it to break, no matter how many times Phil asked him to. Now finally he'd do it though, do what Phil had always asked him to do.

"I'm going."

His hand was already on the door handle and ready to open it, his body turned away from Phil, and so he was taken by surprise when suddenly Phil leaned over the console and grabbed for one of his wrists.

"Why?"

The one word boomed through the car, desperation in his voice. "Why would you want to go back and meet him? What do you hope to get out of it?"

Although wanting to, Dan didn't pull away from Phil's hold on him. Instead he turned back around calmly - or as calmly as his nerves allowed him to be - to look Phil in the eyes. Anger bubbled up inside of him though, because what was Phil thinking? He'd promised to never control Dan. He was taken aback, however, by the amount of concern shimmering in those blue orbs and that's when he realized that Phil didn't want him to go in because he was worried about Dan. Having met Phil as a shell of his former self, he's come so far over the past two years. Maybe Phil was just scared that Dan could regress again, go back from the person he was now to that scared hollow boy he used to be.

Dan knew that if he wanted to, he could easily free himself out of the grip Phil was having on him. It wasn't a tight one, his fingers lose around Dan's wrist. Phil would never hold him too tight, he'd never restrain Dan against his will. Dan knew that much now, and he also knew that it was important to make Phil understand that he needed to let him go.

"I hope to get answers, Phil. I've been scared for so long and now it's time to find closure, but to be able to do that I need to know some things first. Why did he do what he did, why me of all people? What did he expect out of all of it? How would it have ended if the police hadn't found me?"