Diary Of Tears

Eula: Introduction

" If ever you're in my arms again, this time I'll love you much better... If ever you're in my arms again, this time, I'll hold you forever... This time it will never end.."

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I finally got my own diary that I can vent with. My first rant in this one will be, guess what? It's my birthday today! I got this as a present for myself. My hard earned money from working. I would also like to tell you something about myself! Since you are my diary and all, you deserve the right to know your master who holds the pen and writes on you. I am Eula. I'm currently 22 years old as of today!! I live with my lovely family! I love them so much. I currently live with my mother and my brother. What? What about my dad? My dad passed away when i was still young.. He used to spoil me a lot with whatever I wanted. While my brother was like that with my mother. Me and my brother kind of get along sometimes? But we do have our share of bittersweet moments. I warn you I will sometimes rant about my brother being stupid at some point. Part of being a big sister.

My mom, she cares for me a lot. She always try to look out for me. Sometimes I think i am a handful for her because I was born with a heart problem. I was born with defected heart valves. My mom ingests too much caffeine when she was pregnant of me. So here I am..  Every month I have to get myself checked and take medicine to keep my heart problem at bay. I may need a heart donor if I want to survive because I am very limited to what I can do. I can't even get a normal job because if I overexert myself I will faint and lose consciousness. If It goes out of hand, I will be meeting my death. I know, not really a happy life right? But I cannot do anything about it because it's who I am, and its the way i was born. I try my best to love myself at least. I work as a call center agent for a company. I kinda love my job but at the same time I don't. I work 10-12 hours a day which is not really healthy. I sleep at days and works at night. I rarely get any time for anyone.. But I am grateful at least that I get to work and earn my money! I can buy my costumes and maybe a plane ticket to somewhere I want to go.

Other than work, I always get on my Facebook and talk to my online friends. They are from another country!! How cool is that?! I got friends from Indonesia and Philippines. I love talking to them. I always tell my friends from church about them. Especially my senpai Natsume. A half japanese born in Indonesia. We do talk a lot, but something tells me I should tell him how I feel and become more than friends with him. I may need help on these feelings though. But I guess it's no problem! Time will come maybe me and my senpai will be together. Another thing I do on social media like Facebook is post about myself cosplaying or just your regular selfies. A lot of people aren't into that lifestyle but I am! I almost treat Facebook as my own kind of diary..

Now that you know a lot about me, Maybe I am going to write my rants now. I already said before I am debating maybe I should ask Natsume out... Should I? I don't really know.. Because we are really good friends and he possibly might like someone else. Hmm... I guess I should wait it out for now huh? well then never mind that for now, I have a birthday to celebrate. I'll write later or tomorrow and hopefully I find my answer. A birthday girl should not be worried about anything right now Hehe. Peace out!

With Love,

Eula-Chan