Diary Of Tears

Eula: Entry 01

"And though he's far away, It keeps on getting stronger everyday. And even now he's gone.. I'm still holding on.."

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I'm sorry I haven't gone back to you. It has been quite hectic and emotionally draining in the last few hours after my birthday.. I've been remembering my father and how I wish he was here to celebrate with me. I did tell you he died when I was really young yes? Let me tell you stuff about my parents. They used to really love each other, before back in their day when emails did not exist they used to write each other sweet letters via snail mail. I like how cheesy that sounds! Well not really cheesy, the purpose of the letters were to communicate because daddy was out working for at least two years which leaded them to be separated. But out of that two years, I heard a story of my mom cheating on my dad with another guy, thus resulting of me having a brother aka my petty little brother that I have now. Anyway, after all that, my father came back after two years, he eventually found out my mom cheated on him because of my brother. Dad did not know who my brother was. But even if my brother isn't really his child he still loved him dearly like me as his own child. Dad's love for mom died so fast after finding out she cheated and sworn upon these words "from now on my love will only be for Eula. You have no part in this. She is my daughter and she deserves all my love." After that they did not really talk much anymore but my daddy stayed for the sake of me and my brother. My mom kept on telling him she was sorry but I know deep down she wasn't really sorry. I can see the filth of a thirsty whore in her eyes wanting more. But it's not just that... The day that I prayed so hard to not happen eventually did happen..

In between those moments where everything between my mom and dad were going downhill, he realized he was terminally ill. He was coughing up blood and won't stop. I tried to help daddy but he kept on saying it was nothing. Of course even if he says that I was still extremely worried. After that night that he coughed up blood, he talked to my little brother. He asked him of a very important favor which he expected that my brother won't break at all. It seems like right now he hasn't yet. Dad basically told my brother "When I pass on, will you please take care of your sister for me? At least do this for me.. I will be the happiest even when I pass on to the next life. I love you very much my son. You and Eula. You both are my life." Eventually my dad passed away and of course I was very depressed. I attempted to start a fire to burn down my own house. I was going mad and insane. After the rest of my family found out as what I was going to do, I got sent into a rehabilitation center to recover. I was all left alone and isolated for at least 3 months of my life. They were giving me various injections to calm me down. I felt like I was in my own hell even though I haven't died yet. Why did you have to go daddy? I wish you were alive today and you would be celebrating with me on my birthday.

But today I am all better now, a good amount of time passed by and I am doing better. My family signed me up on this very cool church in my neighborhood. They are really nice and I cannot wait to see what is ahead of me in these walls where the Almighty Lord Jesus Christ is residing. Hopefully from this day on everything gets better for me and my family. But I do have to go for today, Mom needs help in preparing dinner. I'll write to you again whenever I can :)

Love,

Eula