The Virgins Guide to a Happy Life

4-The L word

One thing I failed to mention was the L-word. There are many L-words. One of which would come in very handy and one of which would get you into a hell of a lot of trouble. There was a thin line between both words and most people confused them. But I am here to assure you, I do not confuse those words.

Lust.

Love.

I needed lust. Love was a second hand emotion that got smart people into stupid trouble. That was why, I was doing what I was doing now. I had set up my mind. Terrance would not be the man to take my virginity. I didn't know his status nor did I want anything to do with a drug man. My father was enough.

I had gotten Nikolai's number from my brother and he agreed to meeting me at the University, the only safe place. I parked my car on the far side and walked to a hall. When I knew for a fact I wasn't being followed I ducked around the hall and went to the second gate, where Nikolai sat there waiting in his gray Tiida. I got into the car and turned to look at him. He smiled lazily at me.

"Gwyn." He said my name with a smile. My reason for choosing him was simple. He was an army man. A single army man, which meant he was as good as game as any other man out there.

"Nikolai." Cool. Remain calm and collected. You already made your intentions clear when you messaged him last night, I hissed at myself. He knew you wanted him for sex. I could do this.

"So where are we going to do this? Your place or mine or a hotel?" He was calm. Real easy going.

"Where do you think is best?" I honestly didn't know. I shrugged and chewed on the inside of my lip.

"Your pl-" Cut him off.

"Out the question." It was as simple as that.

"Hotel then." He said with a little life. He pulled away from the curb and began driving away. Not even out of sight of the university and my phone rang. My fathers tone playing loud from my pocket.

"Dad?" I answered in question. He rarely ever called me during the day.

"Where the fuck are you Lyn?" Now he was seething. I rolled my eyes.

"Going for lunch with a friend." Cool, calm and collected.

"And he's driving." Not a question, a statement. I got this.

"Yes, he offered." A smile adorned my lips.

"You have an hour." Call ended.

"We have an hour."
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Rule 4: Don't chicken out. Don't be seconds from having some willing guy shoving his dick inside of you, after he ate you out like you were his fucking dinner and say 'Stop!'. Don't be stupid. Don't be Gwyn.

We had kissed. He had stripped me down, played with my pussy till I was wet enough to fill a fucking bucket went down between my legs and lapped like he was a dog and ate until I came. He had slipped on a condom, looked at me, lined up his dick with my soaked pussy and I said stop. I chickened out. I couldn't believe I had passed up the chance. Just like a dog giving away a fresh bone, I had said stop.

I lay on my bed thinking about how stupid I was when a knock came from my door. I turned my head to see Terrance walking into my room.

"Lyn, your father wants to see you." He said and I stiffened at the name.

"It's Gwyn." I said and got off my bed and walked past him and straight out the door. I walked to the dining room where I knew he was and came to stand in front of him.

"Is this lunch?" He hissed and slides pictures towards me and I stared on in horror. There in the picture was Nikolai and I entering the hotel in St. Augustine, the Emerald. There was one inside when he had kissed me and I had grabbed unto his shirt and kissed him back. And the last one was when I was getting out the car and he had squeezed my ass. I had laughed. There was obvious joy and humour on my face.

"Kevin, I'll be back." Terrance said quitely from the door and then the door clicked shut. I couldn't have reacted fast enough. For in a second my father's fist had met my face. I staggered back.

"What the fuck is that?" He hissed and I stared at him. Stumped for a second. "Don't even lie you hoe." A pain seeped out of my chest. He had never verbally abused me before. Ever. A hoe. I wasn't a hoe.

"It was lunch." I said softly. Punch to the ribs. Spots lanced my vision and I knew it was serious this time.

"Gwyndolyn Samuels." I was in the deepest pool of shit I had ever fallen in. "You are not a prosti-fucking-tute. Don't you ever lie to me again or so help me God you wouldn't be walking away." A trickle of fear slid down my back. He hissed at me. "Do you understand?"

"Yes." A small whisper left my throat. Wrong answer. Back hand straight across my face that had me falling on the tiled floor of the kitchen. Stomp to the ribs. I cried out in pain.

"Who the fuck are you talking to?" Hiss. He hissed at me and I knew he was aiming to kick again.

"Yes dad." I said softly.

"Get the fuck up, and don't lock that door." He walked away. I heard his retreating steps and the slamming of the door. I couldn't stand. The pounding in my ribs told me I couldn't stand. I crawled towards my room. Slowly but surely, I got there.

Once inside, I closed the door and crawled over to the bed. I climbed on top the bed and lay there. My breathing slow and almost strained.

The door opened and I didn't have the energy to turn and look to see who was there to visit me.

"Gwyn, this is for you." Terrance said and placed a 8×11×4 box next to my head. "Also, the doctor would be here to see you tomorrow." He said and turned to walk out the room. I turned to look at the box, and with shaky hands, I opened it.

I was forced to sit up. Inside the box was a smaller velvet box that I ignored and a red and black cloth thing and a note. I pulled out the note first. And what it said broke my heart.