Anything but Typical

Chapter 12

Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt me. That was some of the most profound bullshit I had heard in a long time. The saying should have gone, sticks and stones may break my bones but words will only cause permanent psychological damage, but I guess the other one is easier to say. 

It's been three weeks. Three weeks since my world came crashing down around me. Three weeks since I became a sponge like tornado, sucking up anything good or fun. Three weeks since I came out of my house. Three weeks since my friends talked to me.

At first, they all tried. They spammed my phone with messages and calls because they knew that I wasn't okay. What they didn't know was how far I would go. I'd been so much worse a few years ago. I almost tried to kill myself, and Jess was the one who helped me from that giant mess. Now that she wasn't here to pick up the shattered pieces of my soul, I didn't know if I would ever be whole again.

These were the thoughts that raced through my head when I woke up at 3 in the morning. I couldn't go back to sleep, and it was doing my mind no good to let it wander like this. I learnt that the hard way. Always occupy yourself so that you can't actually stop to think about how shitty your life is.

I sat up in bed, and walked over to my bookshelf, where I found my comfort. A picture album. It included pictures of my entire family before they all got killed. As I paged through the pictures, I observed my face. You could definitely tell how different I looked then and now. The pictures were only taken a year ago, and yet it was like looking at a completely different person.

The person in the picture, was smiling, and had warm, kind eyes. I looked up at my mirror. The person who stared back at me was too afraid to smile because whenever something good happens, it always gets ruined. The person who looked back at me in the mirror had scary eyes, that looked like they carried so many hardships, and frankly, the eyes looked sad.

As I looked at some of the other pictures, I began to remember that day. It hadn't been too long ago that the accident happened, so the memories stuck out in my psychotic mind like a sore thumb.

*FLASHBACK*

I was sitting on a plane, next to my mom, dad, and my little sister, Amber. We were just about to start our descent into Hawaii. Dad had won the tickets at some lottery at work, so our entire trip was paid for. I remember that Amber had been so happy, because she wanted to get a grass skirt. She was 5. Things like that were the only things that excited her. 

I had my headphones over my ears, to tune out the constant wailing of some toddler behind us. We were sitting in a row of 4, with me at the end, then mom, then Amber, and then dad. I hadn't noticed anything out of the usual until the plane suddenly dipped down from the sky. Once, twice, while everyone on the plane probably had no idea what was going on. Amber held onto mom and dad for dear life and my mom kissed the top of my head as the plane came crashing down. 

We landed on solid ground, with most of the people on the plane dead. My parents both died before the plane crashed. At least,that's what the medics told me. Amber, was still alive when we crashed landed. I picked her up and hauled her onto my back, as I rushed to the nearest medic that had come along with all of the ambulances. I couldn't help but feel as though all of this was my fault. Maybe the system had malfunctioned because I was listening to music on my phone. 

By the time she reached the hospital, and was hooked up to all of the machines, she was gone too. Everyone in my family was dead, and I had absolutely no one. No one to call, no one to stay with, and most importantly, no one to  mourn all of their deaths with. I didn't have any living family that I knew of and was close to, having both sets of my grandparents also dead before I was born.