Anything but Typical

Chapter 22

I dreamt of her. I dreamt of our very first kiss. I knew it wasn't real, but I still woke up breathless. I turned off my alarm that was set for 7 and stretched. Today was the day. Today was the day I would find her and bring her back home.

I got out of bed and took a quick shower. I threw on a grey shirt, some skinny jeans, and my converse. At the last minute I threw on a beany before I left my room.

I sat at my dining table and pulled out my phone. If I could track the place from where that phone call came from, I bet it would lead me to Jess. I looked it up on my computer and for about $3 I got someone to do it for me. My foot was bouncing up and down in anticipation. After a minute or so of waiting, the location popped up.

It was some abandoned factory in Florida. That seemed incredibly shady to me. Tennessee to Florida. It should only take a day, but I was already starting to doubt myself. I knew I needed to find her, but I was honestly so scared. I pushed all my doubts out of my mind. I needed to find Jess and that was honestly all that mattered at that point.

Without bothering to eat anything, I left my house and got in my car. I put the address of the factory and groaned when it said that the driving time would be almost 11 hours. Adrenaline still coursed through my veins.

I turned on the radio and almost screamed out of frustration when the only song that was playing was Perfect by One Direction. Begrudgingly, I hummed along. Baby i'm perfect. Baby I'm perfect. Ha. what a lie. Nonetheless, I still sang along for lack of anything better to do.

A few songs later, my phone vibrated. I hadn't reached the highway yet, and I was at a red light. I pulled my phone out of my pocket. It was a text from Robin. He was wondering where I was. Typical. I didn't even bother opening the message. I needed to do this on my own. I needed to prove that I was an independent person and wasn't some lame little kid who relied on everyone.

Suddenly, the car behind me honked, quite obnoxiously may I add. I looked up to see that the light had turned green. I put my phone away and drove off, taking an exit to the highway. From there on out, it was pretty much going in a straight line and taking an exit occasionally.

Having read the above statement, is it really that hard to understand that I started zoning out? Finally, I turned the radio off and turned on my personal 'favorites' playlist. The playlist itself was about 3 hours long so I knew this would keep me awake.

The first song that started playing was crybaby and I am not ashamed to say that I sang loudly and obnoxiously off key. I will not hesitate to sing passionately about my music. My music, my rules. I didn't, however, sing obnoxiously with the windows down. My singing would probably make some little kid cry.

I stretched my hands out on the steering wheel. If the sunlight fell at just the right angle, you could see the faded white scars on my left wrist. I winced. Currently, I was about 7 months clean and my life had changed for the better. But if my plan didn't work, if I didn't get Jess back, I don't know what I would do. I didn't even want to think about it.

Just the thought of picking up that razor again sent shivers down my spine and made every hair on my arms stand up. Jess had yelled at me for hours on end when she found my razor stash under my bed. She cried and screamed and begged me to stop. I vowed from then onwards that I wouldn't cut myself again.

But as the summer progressed, it was becoming harder and harder to keep that vow. I just felt so desperate and empty sometimes. I just wanted to feel alive.

Ok, now that i got that out of my system, I could really focus on the road ahead of me. That's similar to something my dad used to tell me when I got discouraged. Drew, never look back on your mistakes and regrets. Always focus on the road ahead.