Try this social experiment. Ask your friends " What do you call a woman who sleeps around?" Let them say words like "whore" and "slut" and then casually yell " HER NAME" and walk off like a bowwsss....
Encountering the term " slut - shaming" was a light bulb moment. At last, a word I could use to express my unease when people fretted over the " sexualisation" of females.
We often give men the sole blame for slut- shaming and harassment, but we all contribute to a culture that degrades and abuses women, one that labels the expression of Mile Cyrus' sexuality' as " white trash" because in society it's not that bad to be a racist... but a slut? God forbid! A female who likes sex? Satan is a lie!
But hey it was totally okay to see Robin Thicke, a married father passively let Cyrus gyrate all over him right? And no one bothered to criticise him for his " Blurred lines" performance which literally recreated the fucked up power dynamic of the video onstage with yet another scantily clad woman performing for the male gaze.
This isn't about Miley though, it's about society that expects different things out of men and women - one that enables toxic masculinity and blames women for not being good enough. If they just behaved differently and more appropriately, it wouldn't be like this they say. But why the fuck should you have a say in the way we live our lives?
When I need hope in times like this, I fondly remember a letter that a father wrote to his daughter about her burgeoning sex life. He was sick of the idea that her sexuality had to be protected- while he waits for her boyfriend on the porch with a shotgun. " You're not me" he writes, " You're not an extension of my will" telling her " I hope you have awesome sex".
Sex isn't something men take from you, it's something you give. It doesn't lessen you as a person, it doesn't degrade you and anyone who implies otherwise is a person only worthy of a good flipping off.
Vote if you agree. Comment if you do or don't.
And check out Andra Day " Rise up" when I dream that I can sing, that's the voice I have.
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Feminist AF!
Humor" and I will raise my daughters to believe that they can breath fire" See for yourself why so many of us are proud to be called feminists. I'll make even the strongest none believers pause and think.
