Feminist AF!

"Not all men!"

- Yes but enough men that every girl is terrified of walking home late at night at one point in her life, afraid of who might be following her.

- Yes but enough men that we have referred to some of you as " Creeps" and have been afraid to leave our drinks unattended.

- Enough men, that we are now afraid to tell you that we are afraid. We can't ask you to stop talking to us, because we risk being called a " Stuck up bitch" and blamed for murders and rape in which we are the victims.

- Enough men, that we resort to speaking to you with body language in hopes that you'll understand. We cross our legs and look out of windows. We wear giant headphones even though we aren't actually listening to music. Signs that subtly say " Don't talk to me"

- Enough men, that you ignore these signs because they don't mean anything. That our bodies aren't our bodies.

Not all men.
You can start saying that when all women can stop being afraid. But this isn't going to happen if every man that a woman opens up to about this issue dismisses her by saying " Not all men"

These days, before we talk about misogyny, women are increasingly being asked to modify our language so we don't hurt men's feelings. Don't say " Men oppress women"- that's sexism. Instead say, " Some men" whatever you do, don't generalise. That's something men do. Sorry, excuse me, not all men- some men.👐

This type of semantic squabbling is a very effective way of getting us to shut up. After all, most of us grew up learning that being a good girl was all about putting other people's feelings first. We aren't supposed to say what we think, lest it upset someone.
So we stifle our speech with apologies, caveats and soothing sounds.😒😒 We assure our friends and loved ones that " you're not one of those men who hate women"

What we don't say is : of course not all men hate women. But culture hates women, so men who grew up in a sexist culture have a tendency to do and say sexist things, often without meaning to. We are not judging you for who you are but that doesn't mean that we aren't asking you to change your behaviour. What you feel about women in your heart is of less immediate importance than how you treat them on a daily basis.

You can be the gentlest, sweetest man in the world yet still benefit and profit from sexism. That's how oppression works.

You must remember. It isn't about " All men are menaces to women" it's about " All women have been menaced by men"

As per usual, I am sending lots of love to you from Rwanda 😙