I won't tell you that the world matters nothing, or the world's voice, or the voice of society. They matter a good deal. They matter far too much. But there are moments when one has to choose between living one's own life, fully, entirely, completel...
I was in my room fixing the trucks on my longboard, I didn't bring it to the Bronx with me because it was wobbly but it's good now. My phone started ringing and the contact "Bestie 👻🍆👌🏾" was on the screen. Rakim, I rolled my eyes and picked up the phone.
Me: What? Rocky: I just wanted to know if you go home safe... Me: Yes, bye. Rocky: Wait! Me: Whatttt!? Rocky: I'm sorry. Me: For...? Rocky: Dragging you to the Bronx. I shouldn't have forced you, I'm sorry. Me: *sigh* I forgive you...but...can you buy me a candy bar and come over? I'm bored. I wanna plan our summer break. Rocky: Alright. I'll be there soon. What candy bar do you want? Me: Butterfingers. Rocky: Ew ok. Bye
I hung the phone up and my grandma called me.
"Toni Lewis!!" I know when she calls me by my full name I'm in some deep ass trouble or something happened.
I ran into the living room where she was sitting on the couch staring at the tv in horror.
"Yes grandma?"
"Look at this." She covered her mouth.
"17 year old Leondré Davis was shot and killed in East Flatbush Brooklyn. His family has this to say..."
A woman with a shower cap on her head had tears in her eyes and grabbed the microphone. "Leondré Davis is my son! Them sons of bitches in Flatbush took him and killed him! If any of y'all know about this please tell the police!"
"Leondré used to live here..." I said. "Mama a hood rat though..."
Grandma wiped her tears with a tissue. "He was a sweetheart. When he lived around here he used to help the ladies and I with the church conventions. He told me that he sold crack around East Flatbush. I promised him that I wouldn't tell anyone, now look where he is. Dead, Toni I don't want you to feed into that mess. Choose your friends wisely, okay?"
"Yes grandma." I automatically thought about Rocky, my grandma knows him and knows that he smokes weed. She doesn't have a problem with that, it's New York everybody smokes weed but not me so it's not a big deal. What she doesn't know is that he sells it and sells crack along with it now and does lsd. I told Rakim to be careful what he says around her so she doesn't know or gets any ideas.
"Yes grandma. Well, Rakim is at the door." I opened the door and there was Rakim, high as can be.
"Heyyyyyy friend!" He hugged me and gave me my candy bar.
"Thanks." I closed the door behind him and my grandma greeted him then we went to my room.
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Rocky kept laughing for no reason. "What's uppppp?"
"Nothing, we need to plan for this summer." I opened my laptop.
"We can fuckkkkk!" He kissed my cheek and I moved his face away from my neck. "Ya grandma ain't gotta know. She won't be able to hear us."
I didn't respond to him, I'm used to him acting like this. Rocky kind of a hoe real talk. Every week this nigga fuckin' some hoe from school or a grown ass woman he found on the street. It hurts me because I like him a lot but I can't love him, he needs to change but he doesn't know how I feel no one does except for my friend Denzel, down in Florida. Speaking of Denzel, I should call him up. I searched for his name in my contacts while Rocky danced around my room.
"I love bad bitches that's my fucking problem, and yeah I like to fuck I got a fucking problem." He sang.
"HUSH!!!" I feared that my grandma would bust in my room trying to find out who's cussing but thank god she didn't. I found "Denzel Curry" in my contacts and called him.
